Bitterness - The Link from Love to Hate

I started reading the book of 2 Samuel this week.  As I continue reading about David's life I am reminded of the wives of David that I studied.  His first wife was Michal, the daughter of King Saul.  My feelings about her really changed after studying her a little more deeply.  You can read the entire post here, but I thought I'd share what I think turned her from loving David to despising him.

1 Samuel 18:20 says that Michal loved David, the only place in the Bible where a woman's love for a man is recorded, according to footnotes in The Jewish Study Bible.  This is repeated in verse 28 of the same chapter.  However, there is no biblical record of David having loved Michal.   When Saul learned that Michal loved David he hoped that she would be a snare to David.

I posted a timeline of the life of David here.  It was very helpful as I studied.

In 1008 B.C. David married Michal.  After approximately one year of marriage, David fled because Saul wanted to kill him.  Michal was left behind.  In 1005 B.C. Michal was given to Paltiel in Gallim.  During David's time on the run, he married Abigail and Ahinoam.

Five years later, in 1000 B.C., Saul and Jonathan are killed in battle and David is anointed king.  David marries four additional wives and has at least six sons by his six wives.

998 BC - Michal returned to David
They were only together one year, now some nine years and six wives later David wants Michal back.  I can't even imagine how she must have felt.  Her father and brothers were all dead.  The young man she loved and married has spent years as a warrior on the run and is now the king with six wives and at least six sons.  I'm sure that's not quite the marriage she had dreamed of.  Some commentaries said he wanted her back because he loved her, but others said it was purely political.

Sadly, Michal seemed to be married to a man who wanted just her.  When Ishbosheth took her from her husband, he "went with her along weeping behind her." (2 Samuel 3:16)  "Because of his great affection to her, unwilling to part with her, but forced to it at the command of the king." (John Gill)  That is such a sad picture to me!  And I wonder if it was then that the root of bitterness that had been growing reached full growth.  Maybe Michal was proud to be called back to the palace, but it wasn't going to be easy.

 

992 BC - The ark is returned. 
Six years after Michal is returned to David a great celebration takes place. The ark of God is brought back with sacrifices and great rejoicing.  On this great day, the verse that tells how much Michal has changed appears, "And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart."  

Michal had gone from loving David to despising him.  This same phrase "she despised him in her heart" is also found in 1Chronicles 15:29.  As soon as David returned home, Michal went out to meet him.  She was so harsh mocking his worship.  "And said, how glorious was the king of Israel today; which she spoke in an ironical jeering way, meaning the reverse, how inglorious, mean, and despicable he had made himself to be, by his airs and gestures." (John Gill)  "Proud of her royal extraction, she upbraided her husband for lowering the dignity of the crown and acting more like a buffoon than a king." (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown)

Following David and Michal's exchange is a very sad verse, "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death." (2 Samuel 6:23)

 

While I cannot agree with how Michal mocked David, a part of me understands why.  David was in his 20s when they were married.  It is possible that Michal was still a teenager.  A teenager greatly influenced by a father who was filled with hatred.  

We all have the opportunity to choose bitterness when life is difficult.  When I was a child and would tell my mom, "it's not fair!" she always responded with "life isn't fair."  She was right.  Life isn't fair.  We don't always get our way.  Hard times come, but it's how we handle the unfairness of life that determines if we will be bitter or victorious.

Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  At the heart of it all, Michal's problem wasn't that she loved or despised David, but I don't think she ever loved God.  If we keep a love for God in our hearts, then no matter the turns life takes, we can know that it will all work together for our good.

From Love to Bitterness

My Bible reading this morning included 2 Samuel chapter 3.  There were three verses that especially caught my attention, verses 14-16: "And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.  And Ishbosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.   And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim. Then said Abner unto him, Go, return. And he returned."

These verses were part of the study that I did on Michal, the daughter of Saul and first wife of David.  I studied her in July 2015.  It was actually this part of her story that caused me to pause.  You can read my entire post here.

Many times all we hear about is when Michal mocked David for dancing when the ark of God was returned.  That is the end of the story.  Those are the words and actions of a bitter woman.  But bitterness wasn't what originally defined Michal.  1 Samuel 18:20 says that Michal loved David, the only place in the Bible where a woman's love for a man is recorded, according to footnotes in The Jewish Study Bible.  However, there is no biblical record of David having loved Michal.

Here is a brief timeline of Michal and David's marriage:

1008 BC - they were married

1007 BC - Michal helped David escape from Saul

1005 BC - Michal is given to Paltiel in Gallim

1000 BC - Saul and Jonathon are killed in battle, David becomes king

998 BC - Michal returned to David

992 BC - The ark is returned

I wrote in my 2015 post:

They were only together one year, now some nine years and six wives later David wants Michal back.  I can't even imagine how she must have felt.  Her father and brothers were all dead.  The young man she loved and married has spent years as a warrior on the run and is now the king with six wives and at least six sons.  I'm sure that's not quite the marriage she had dreamed of.  Some commentaries said he wanted her back because he loved her, but others said it was purely political.

Sadly, Michal seemed to be married to a man who wanted just her. When Ishbosheth took her from her husband, he "went with her along weeping behind her." (2 Samuel 3:16) "Because of his great affection to her, unwilling to part with her, but forced to it at the command of the king." (John Gill) That is such a sad picture to me! And I wonder if it was then that the root of bitterness that had been growing reached full growth. Maybe Michal was proud to be called back to the palace, but it wasn't going to be easy.

I am in no way excusing Michal's bitterness or the actions that followed.  But her story causes me to pause, to ponder.  There are people in my life who have let bitterness separate them from God.  They didn't start out that way, but through the hard times and hurts of life they allowed bitterness to grow. 

Last month I had a minor bike accident.  I landed pretty hard on my right arm and by the time I got home it was swollen.  I ended up with a huge, deep bruise from my elbow all the way to my wrist.  It hurt for weeks.  I had abrasions on my elbow.  I cleaned the wound and treated it with care. Cleaning that wound hurt!  I kept it wrapped because I didn't want to get an infection.   It has taken weeks for it to fully heal, but it has.  Now there is just a tiny area that is slightly red, all other signs of injury are gone.

We need to treat the injuries of life with care.  Take care of the wounds.  Cleaning a wound hurts!  We can't let the infection of bitterness get in.  Forgive.  And forgive again.  Even when no apology comes, forgive.  It is the only way to keep bitterness out.

Clean the wound and recover or let the wound fester.  The choice is ours.

Bathsheba (Lineage of Christ) ~ Woman of the Week

In my many weeks of studying the lineage of Christ, I have read many commentaries regarding the ancestry listed in Matthew chapter 1 verses that listed in Luke chapter 3.  Matthew begins with Abraham and ends with Jesus.  Luke begins with Jesus and ends with Adam.  Both lists are the same from Abraham to David, but two of David's sons are named - Solomon and Nathan.  Most commentaries agree that this is not a mistake, but that Matthew traced Joseph's family, while Luke traced Mary's. "Matthew's list of the forefathers of Jesus showed that Christ was the son of Abraham, in whom all the families of the earth are blessed, and heir to the throne of David; but Luke shows that Jesus was the Seed of the woman that should break the serpent's head, and traces the line up to Adam, beginning with Eli, or Heli, the father, not of Joseph, but of Mary." (Matthew Henry)  I'm pointing this out in today's post because both sons of David where the genealogy changes were also sons of Bathsheba.  David had sons by six other wives, but both Mary and Joseph were both descended from David and Bathsheba.

Verses:   2 Samuel 11:1-27, 2 Samuel 12:15-24, 1 Kings 1:11-31, 1 Kings 2:13-23, Psalm 51

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings
Bathsheba was the daughter of Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite.  She is later called "Bathshua," which appears to be a variation of her name.  Giloh was a town in the hill country of Judah, so as far as I've been able to discover, Bathsheba was an Israelite.  Her first husband, Uriah, was called a Hittite - "who either was of that nation originally, and became a proselyte; or had sojourned there for a while, and took the name or had it given him, for some exploit he had performed against that people." (John Gill)
Bathsheba is listed in Matthew's genealogy as "her that had been the wife of Urias."  Later, Bathsheba was married to King David and gave birth to five sons, including Solomon and Nathan. 

What is she most known for? Victories? Defeats? How can I be like her? How can I avoid being like her?
When I did my study on the Wives of King David, I posted a Timeline of the Life of King David.  A review of this shows that David had been the king of Israel for approximately 20 years when he encountered Bathsheba.  Seven and a half years, he reigned in Hebron, then moved to Jerusalem. The key sentence in the story of David and Bathsheba is found in 2 Samuel 12:1, "But David tarried still at Jerusalem."  The kings had gone out to battle, but David was idle, which lead to his sin.

I searched the commentaries regarding Bathsheba "washing herself."  None had a negative comment about that act.  John Gill said she could have been "in her garden, or in an apartment in her house, the window being open," but none accused her of putting herself there so David would see her.  The start of the sin began with David as he saw her.  When he inquired, he was told, "Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?"

Knowing that Bathsheba was married didn't stop David's lust.  "David sent messengers, and took her..."

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?
"... and she came in unto him, and he lay with her."  John Gill said, "she consenting to it, being prevailed upon, and drawn into it through the greatness and goodness of the man, which might make the sin appear the lesser to her."  

Whether she was afraid to say no to the king or not, I don't know.  I do know that Bathsheba had a choice.  "We hear nothing of her reluctance, and there is no evidence that she was taken by force."  (Adam Clarke)  She may have been intimidated, but she still had a choice.  We all have the choice to sin or not.

Now things changed from David's lust to David and Bathsheba's sin.  When she realized she was with child, she immediately sent word to David.  "Some immediate measures of concealing their sin were necessary, as well for the king’s honor as for her safety, for death was the punishment of an adulteress."  (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown)

When David's plot to bring Uriah back to his wife failed, David had Uriah murdered.  "When the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband."  "The news of which were soon sent her by David, though it is very probable she knew nothing of the plot to take away his life; and, besides, David chose to have his death published abroad as soon as possible, the more to hide his sin."  (John Gill)

"And when the mourning was past, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his wife, and bare him a son."  "Bathsheba’s mourning, like that of Abigail, was probably limited to the customary time of seven days." (Albert Barnes)

Of course the story doesn't end there.  "But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD."  "It seems to have been a great while after David had been guilty of adultery with Bathsheba before he was brought to repentance for it. For, when Nathan was sent to him, the child was born."  (Matthew Henry)  Much is written about David's sin, guilt and repentance, but nothing is said of Bathsheba's.  They were both punished though, as the child conceived in their sin died.  Seven days after the prophet Nathan faced David with his sin, this unnamed son died.

2 Samuel 12:24 says, "And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him."  This is the first time she is called David's wife.  "Bathsheba no doubt was very much distressed, and greatly disconsolate, on account of the sin she had committed, and because of the wrath and displeasure of God, and because of the death of the child, which was a token of it; and she might have some scruples in her mind whether it was lawful to continue cohabiting with David. Now David comforted her, by telling her that God had pardoned that iniquity they had been guilty of, and that he would give them another son, who should succeed him in the throne, and build an house for his name."  (John Gill)

Psalm 51 is called "A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba."  The beautiful phrase "blot out all mine iniquities" in verse 9 was surely answered, as God forgave David and Bathsheba, allowing them to have four more sons, two of them named in the lineage of our Savior.

The final mention of Bathsheba is found in 1 Chronicles 3:5 as the sons of David are listed.  "Shimea, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon, four, of Bathshua the daughter of Ammiel."  There is a lot written about Solomon, but Matthew Henry's commentary about Nathan is insightful, "One of them, which Bathsheba bore to him, he called Nathan, probably in honour of Nathan the prophet, who reproved him for his sin in that matter and was instrumental to bring him to repentance. It seems he loved him the better for it as long as he lived. It is wisdom to esteem those our best friends that deal faithfully with us. From this son of David our Lord Jesus descended, as appears Luke 3:31."

Abigail ~ Woman of the Week (Wives of King David)

I've left poor Abigail hanging for weeks! But here she is now...

I think Abigail is my favorite wife of King David.  She was married to a man who was called a fool who put his household in danger, but she was bold in saving her household and keeping David from shedding unnecessary blood.

Verses: 1 Samuel 25:1-42, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:1-18, 2 Samuel 2:2, 2 Samuel 3:3, 1 Chronicles 3:1

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings
We don't know anything about Abigail's parents but there is plenty said about her first husband, Nabal "the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb." (1 Samuel 25:3)  "He was of the house of Caleb, but was indeed of another spirit.  He was a dogged man, of a currish disposition, surly and snappish, and always snarling." (Matthew Henry)

Abigail's name meant "my father's joy."  She is described as "a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance; she was not only of a good understanding in things natural, civil, and domestic, but in things spiritual, as her speech to David shows, and which, with her external form, completed her character, and greatly recommended her." (John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible)

I found some interesting tidbits about her son.  In 1 Chronicles 3:1 he is called "Daniel," but in 2 Samuel 3:3 he is called "Chileab."  "“The second, Daniel, who was also called Chileab, because he was in every respect like to his father.” The Targumist refers here to the import of the word ke-le-ab, like to the father. Jarchi says the two names were given to this person because David, having taken Abigail immediately after the death of Nabal, it could not be ascertained whether this child were the son of David or of Nabal, therefore David called him Daniel, God is my Judge, and Chileab, he who is like to the father; probably from the striking resemblance he bore to David, his reputed father. “God is my Judge, I have not fathered another man’s child; this is entirely like unto myself.”" (Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible)

What is she most known for? Victories? Defeats? How can I be like her? How can I avoid being like her?
1005 BC: David is living “off the land” as he encounters Nabal and Abigail at Carmel.  It's hard to tell Abigail's story without giving some background:

"David and his men lurked in these deserts, associating with the herdsmen and shepherds of Nabal and others and doing them good offices, probably in return for information and supplies obtained through them. Hence when Nabal held his annual sheep-shearing in Carmel, David felt himself entitled to share in the festival and sent a message, recounting his own services and asking for a present.  Nabal’s answer seems to indicate that the country was at the time in a loose and disorderly state. David’s own good conduct, however, as well as the important services rendered by him and his men, were readily attested by Nabal’s servants. The preparations of David to chastise his insolent language and ungrateful requital are exactly what would be done in the present day by Arab chiefs, who protect the cattle of the large and wealthy sheep masters from the attacks of the marauding border tribes or wild beasts. Their protection creates a claim for some kind of tribute, in the shape of supplies of food and necessaries, which is usually given with great good will and gratitude; but when withheld, is enforced as a right. Nabal’s refusal, therefore, was a violation of the established usages of the place." (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown {JFB})

After Nabal's refusal, David gathered 200 of his men, ready to attack. Before he could do so, one of the servant's warned Abigal, who stepped in. "Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses." (I Samuel 25:18) "Wisdom in such a case as this was better than weapons of war. It was her wisdom that what she did she did quickly, and without delay; she made haste. It was no time to trifle or linger when all was in danger." (Matthew Henry)

Abigail met David and his men.  She fell at his feet, begging for mercy but also blessing David and telling of his future.  This is one of the longer passages of recorded words of a woman:

1 Samuel 25:24-31 "And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid. Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send. Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.  And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord. I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid."

"By a present Abigail atoned for Nabal's denial of David's request. Her behavior was very submissive. Yielding pacifies great offenses. She puts herself in the place of a penitent, and of a petitioner. She could not excuse her husband's conduct. She depends not upon her own reasonings, but on God's grace, to soften David, and expects that grace would work powerfully. She says that it was below him to take vengeance on so weak and despicable an enemy as Nabal, who, as he would do him no kindness, so he could do him no hurt. She foretells the glorious end of David's present troubles. God will preserve thy life; therefore it becomes not thee unjustly and unnecessarily to take away the lives of any, especially of the people of thy God and Savior. Abigail keeps this argument for the last, as very powerful with so good a man; that the less he indulged his passion, the more he consulted his peace and the repose of his own conscience." (JFB)

She stopped David in his tracks.  "David said to Abigail, Blessed be the Lord — Transported by passion and blinded by revenge, he was on the eve of perpetrating a great injury. Doubtless, the timely appearance and prudent address of Abigail were greatly instrumental in changing his purpose. At all events, it was the means of opening his eyes to the moral character of the course on which he had been impetuously rushing; and in accepting her present, he speaks with lively satisfaction as well as gratitude to Abigail, for having relieved him from bloodshed." (JFB)

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?
Abigail returned home to find a drunken Nabal, celebrating like a king.  She wisely said nothing to him about where she had been.  The next day "when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone. And it came to pass about ten days after, that the LORD smote Nabal, that he died." (I Samuel 25:36-37)

After Nabal died, Abigail was given a new start when she married David.  "She had no objection nor hesitation in her mind about marrying David but at once consented, and immediately prepared for her journey, having as high an opinion, and as great an esteem of David, as he of her." (John Gill)

Her life was still unsettled as they continued to lived in the wilderness.  Five years later, she is with Ahinoam when they are kidnapped from Ziklag.  They finally settle in Hebron and David is anointed king.  David builds his kingdom and his family, marrying four more wives.

We don't read anything more of Abigail, but I found one interesting "unwritten" thing in 1 Kings chapter 1.  When David was old and dying, "Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king."  Amnon was David's firstborn, but he was dead.  According the both 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles, Abigail's son Chileab (also known as Daniel) should have been next in line to the throne.   Some commentaries said he might have died young, but the Bible doesn't say that anywhere. Neither Abigail or Chileab try to assert themselves at this time.  I think this says a lot about Abigail the mother.  God had chosen Solomon to be king.  I don't know if Abigail knew this or not, but she continued to be a woman of good understanding and her son never brought shame to his father like so many of his siblings.

Woman of the Week ~ Abigail (Wives of King David)

I'm continuing my study of King David's wives.  I am taking the names from 1 Chronicles chapter 3:

1 Now these were the sons of David, which were born unto him in Hebron; the firstborn Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; the second Daniel, of Abigail the Carmelitess:
2 The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur: the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith:
3 The fifth, Shephatiah of Abital: the sixth, Ithream by Eglah his wife.
4 These six were born unto him in Hebron; and there he reigned seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years.
5 And these were born unto him in Jerusalem; Shimea, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon, four, of Bathshua the daughter of Ammiel:

Verses: 1 Samuel 25:1-42, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:1-18, 2 Samuel 2:2, 2 Samuel 3:3, 1 Chronicles 3:1

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings

What is she most known for?

Victories? Defeats?

How can I be like her?

How can I avoid being like her?

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?

Ahinoam ~ Woman of the Week (Wives of King David)

Ahinoam is one of David's lesser known wives.  There are no recorded words of Ahinoam in the Bible.  She is practically a blank slate, just mentioned in passing, overshadowed by Abigail whom David married around the same time.

Verses: 1 Samuel 25:43, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:1-18, 2 Samuel 2:2, 2 Samuel 3:2, 1 Chronicles 3:1

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings
1005 BC: David is still on the run from King Saul.  We don't know anything about Ahinoam's background other than she was from the town of Jezreel.  There is no mention of how she met David.  I thought she might be a sister of one of his followers, but the Bible does not say so.  She had one son, Amnon.
"Many think that this was his wife before he took Abigail; she is always mentioned first in the list of his wives, and she was the mother of his eldest son Amnon."  (Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible)

What is she most known for? Victories? Defeats? How can I be like her? How can I avoid being like her?
1003 BC:  Two years of marriage had been spent in hiding, running from King Saul.  David and his clan are now settled in Ziklag.  There are 600 men with their wives and children.  David has aligned himself with Achish, the son of Maoch, king of Gath (1 Samuel 27:2.)  "This measure of David's, in uniting himself to the enemies of his God and people, was highly blameable; was calculated to alienate the affections of the Israelites; and led to equivocation, if not downright falsehood." (Treasury of Scriptural Knowledge by Canne, Browne, Blayney, Scott, and others {TSK})

1000 BC: David and his clan dwelt with the Philistines for a year and four months.  He and his men invaded the Geshurites, Gezrites, and Amalekites.  When it came time for the Philistines to invade Israel, Achish expected David and his men to come along.  The lords of the Philistines refused to let him come.  Achish sent them back.  Upon their return to Ziklag, they find the Amalekites have invaded, burned Ziklag and taken the women and children.  David and his men smote the Amalekites and recovered all, including his two wives, Ahinoam and Abigail.

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?
978 BC:  Ahinoam has been married to David for 25 years, but there is no silver anniversary celebration, instead turmoil is coming.  Ahinoam's son, Amnon, became infatuated with his half-sister, Tamar.  I'll write about her soon, but when Amnon listened to the advice of a friend, destruction followed.   Even David was pulled in to the plot when Amnon requested Tamar to come.  2 Samuel 13:7 says, "Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat."

After Amnon raped Tamar, 2 Samuel 13:21 says, "But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth."  There is no mention of Ahinoam, Amnon's mother.  Her son was in his early 20s, he was old enough to have his own house, but I'm sure this news broke her heart.

976 BC:  Two years pass and Amnon has not been dealt with by his father, David.  Absalom, the brother of Tamar and son of Maacah, finally takes the punishment in his own hands and has Amnon killed.  As far as we know, this was Ahinoam's only child. David mourned for his son, Amnon, but eventually still longed for Absalom.  Ahinoam had no one that was just hers to turn to for strength and comfort.

Even though there is so little written about Ahinoam, I feel very sorry for her.  My guess is she was not outgoing or outspoken, perhaps she felt very lonely in this large extended family.  I'm starting to feel like a broken record, but God got it right when He planned for one man and one woman.

Woman of the Week ~ Ahinoam (Wives of King David)

I'm continuing my study of King David's wives.  I am taking the names from 1 Chronicles chapter 3:

1 Now these were the sons of David, which were born unto him in Hebron; the firstborn Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; the second Daniel, of Abigail the Carmelitess:
2 The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur: the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith:
3 The fifth, Shephatiah of Abital: the sixth, Ithream by Eglah his wife.
4 These six were born unto him in Hebron; and there he reigned seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years.
5 And these were born unto him in Jerusalem; Shimea, and Shobab, and Nathan, and Solomon, four, of Bathshua the daughter of Ammiel:

I don't know if this was the order that David married them, but I'm going to go with the birth order of his sons.  I wonder how he kept it all straight!

Verses: 1 Samuel 25:43, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:1-18, 2 Samuel 2:2, 2 Samuel 3:2, 1 Chronicles 3:1

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings

What is she most known for?

Victories? Defeats?

How can I be like her?

How can I avoid being like her?

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?

Michal ~ Woman of the Week (Wives of King David)

Using the timeline I posted yesterday, I thought it would be helpful to point out the years that unfolded in the life of Michal throughout this post.  I think Michal's is a sad story.  She was used by her father repeatedly in his attempts to kill David.  She was left on her own after only one year of marriage, then given to another, while David took many other wives.  1 Samuel 18:20 says that Michal loved David, the only place in the Bible where a woman's love for a man is recorded, according to footnotes in The Jewish Study Bible.  However, there is no biblical record of David having loved Michal.  By the time we read about Michal mocking David, I think she was a very bitter woman.

Verses:  1 Samuel 14:49, 1 Samuel 18:17-28, 1 Samuel 19:11-17, 1 Samuel 25:44, 2 Samuel 3:13-16, 2 Samuel 6:14-23, 2 Samuel 21:8, 1 Chronicle 15:29

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings

Michal was the daughter of King Saul.  1 Samuel 14:49-50 says, "Now the sons of Saul were Jonathan, and Ishui, and Melchishua: and the names of his two daughters were these; the name of the firstborn Merab, and the name of the younger Michal: And the name of Saul's wife was Ahinoam, the daughter of Ahimaaz."  It seems that these five were full blooded siblings.  Saul is also known to have a concubine named Rizpah (I'll be studying her soon!) who had two sons - Armoni and Mephibosheth.
Michal married David after he had been anointed by Samuel and killed Goliath.

What is she most known for? Victories? Defeats? How can I be like her? How can I avoid being like her?
In 1 Samuel chapter 18, Saul had promised David his daughter Merab.  When the time came, Saul gave her to Adriel the Meholathite.  Verses 20-21 says, "And Michal Saul's daughter loved David: and they told Saul, and the thing pleased him. And Saul said, I will give him her, that she may be a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him. Wherefore Saul said to David, Thou shalt this day be my son in law in the one of the twain."

"And Michal, Saul's daughter, loved David... His youngest daughter fell in love with him, because of the comeliness of his person, his gallant behaviour, his wise conduct, and the general esteem and reputation he was had in, as may be supposed: and they told Saul, and the thing pleased him; not that his daughter loved David, or that he should be his son-in-law, but that he should have an opportunity, as he hoped, of destroying David, which he had lost by giving his elder daughter to another; as also of retrieving his credit with the people, which was greatly sunk by using David in the manner he did, who had become the darling of the people." (John Gill)

1008 BC - Married David
Saul wasn't concerned about a happy marriage for his youngest daughter.  He used her and her love for David, hoping that she would be a snare to David.  One important thing to remember is Saul hated David.  Saul knew God was with David, he knew the kingdom had already slipped from his hands, but he tried everything he could to stop David.  David was on the run from Saul for seven years until Saul died in battle.

1007 BC - David fled from Saul, Michal stayed with Saul.
David and Michal were only married about a year when "Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David." (1 Samuel 19:1)  Jonathan warned David then spoke to Saul, convincing him not to kill David.

There was peace for a short time, but an evil spirit came upon Saul and he tried to kill David with a javelin.  David escaped and Michal told him, "If thou save not thy life to night, to morrow thou shalt be slain."  She helped David escape through a window.  Once David was gone, she turned to what several commentaries said was her household god.  "Michal took an image, and laid it in the bed, and put a pillow of goats' hair for his bolster, and covered it with a cloth." (1 Samuel 19:13)  "A "teraphim", as the word is; which, if the same with those that Rachel stole from her father, they seem to be of the same sort with the penates or household gods of the Heathens, which were privately kept by Michal." (John Gill)

Michal knew she would be found out, but by placing the image in the bed and pretending that David was sick, she bought him more time to get away from Saul.  It wasn't until the next morning that Saul sent men for David and Michal's deception was discovered.  At that point Michal lied to Saul by saying "He said unto me, Let me go; why should I kill thee?"  "In answer to Saul's chiding, Michal is not so careful of her husband's reputation as she had been of his person, when she makes this her excuse: He said, Let me go, why should I kill thee? As her insinuating that she would have hindered his flight was false (it was she that put him upon it and furthered it), so it was an unjust unworthy reflection upon him to suggest that he threatened to kill her if she would not let him go, and might confirm Saul in his rage against him. David was far from being so barbarous a man and so imperious a husband, so brutish in his resolves and so haughty in his menaces, as she here represented him."  (Matthew Henry)

1005 BC - Michal is given to Paltiel in Gallim
David had been on the run for two years by now.  There is no mention that David tried to have Michal join him.  1 Samuel chapter 25 tells of David marrying Abigail and Ahinoam.   The last verse of that chapter says, "But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David's wife, to Phalti the son of Laish, which was of Gallim."  I don't know if this happened before or after David took additional wives. Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible said, "Saul’s giving Michal to Phalti was intended to mark the final rupture of his own relations with David."  Again, she was a pawn in her father's hand.

1000 BC - King Saul is wounded in battle and dies falling on his own sword.  David with the help of his allies assumes control of Judah, and is anointed its king.  He then marries four additional wives.

998 BC - Michal returned to David
They were only together one year, now some nine years and six wives later David wants Michal back.  I can't even imagine how she must have felt.  Her father and brothers were all dead.  The young man she loved and married has spent years as a warrior on the run and is now the king with six wives and at least six sons.  I'm sure that's not quite the marriage she had dreamed of.  Some commentaries said he wanted her back because he loved her, but others said it was purely political.

Sadly, Michal seemed to be married to a man who wanted just her.  When Ishbosheth took her from her husband, he "went with her along weeping behind her." (2 Samuel 3:16)  "Because of his great affection to her, unwilling to part with her, but forced to it at the command of the king." (John Gill)  That is such a sad picture to me!  And I wonder if it was then that the root of bitterness that had been growing reached full growth.  Maybe Michal was proud to be called back to the palace, but it wasn't going to be easy.

Did she reach  a place when she needed to reset? If so, did she?  For good or evil?
992 BC - The ark is returned. 
Six years after Michal is returned to David a great celebration takes place. The ark of God is brought back with sacrifices and great rejoicing.  On this great day, the verse that tells how much Michal has changed appears, "And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart." (2 Samuel 6:16)  "In the days of Saul the ark had been neglected, and Saul had in everything shown himself to be an irreligious king. Michal seems to have been of a like spirit." (Albert Barnes)  "She is said to be Saul's daughter, though David's wife, as having a good deal of her father's haughty temper and disposition." (John Gill)

Michal had gone from loving David to despising him.  This same phrase "she despised him in her heart" is also found in 1Chronicles 15:29.  As soon as David returned home, Michal went out to meet him.  She was so harsh mocking his worship.  "And said, how glorious was the king of Israel today; which she spoke in an ironical jeering way, meaning the reverse, how inglorious, mean, and despicable he had made himself to be, by his airs and gestures." (John Gill)  "Proud of her royal extraction, she upbraided her husband for lowering the dignity of the crown and acting more like a buffoon than a king." (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown)

Following David and Michal's exchange is a very sad verse, "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death." (2 Samuel 6:23)  I've studied quite a few barren women this year, but they all turned to God and He blessed them with a child or children.  Not Michal.  There was no turning to God for her.  "She that vilified David brought a reproach upon herself, as barrenness was always reckoned, and no one descending from her arrived to royal dignity, and sat on the throne of David"  (John Gill)  "David was contented thus to justify himself, and did not any further animadvert upon Michal's insolence; but God punished her for it, writing her for ever childless from this time forward. She unjustly reproached David for his devotion, and therefore God justly put her under the perpetual reproach of barrenness." (Matthew Henry)

966 BC David makes amends with the Gibeonites by having seven sons of Saul executed.
Twenty six years later, we read about Michal again.  "But the king took the two sons of Rizpah the daughter of Aiah, whom she bare unto Saul, Armoni and Mephibosheth; and the five sons of Michal the daughter of Saul, whom she brought up for Adriel the son of Barzillai the Meholathite"  This might seem like a contradiction to 2 Samuel 6:23, but the five sons here were probably the sons of Michal's sister, Merab, who Saul had given to Adriel.  There is no mention of Merab's death, but some commentaries said that Michal raised (brought up) these five sons because her sister died.  We don't know how old these sons were, they must have been grown men, but that wouldn't have brought any less sorrow to Michal.

There is no record of Michal's death.  When David was dying, there was competition among his sons on who would be the next king, but Michal is never mentioned because she was barren.  There was no one to remember her or carry on the family line of King Saul.

This study has left me feeling very sad for Michal.  She loved David and had one year of marriage with him before her world started falling apart. Maybe she was a spoiled princess, but being left behind and then expected to return to a husband who now had six other wives could not have been easy.  I'm pretty sure I would have rebelled or grown bitter myself.  I think there were a lot of lonely years that led to her bitterness.  Once again, God's plan for ONE man and ONE woman is still the only way for a peaceful marriage.

Timeline of the Life of King David

While trying to wrap my brain around the life of David and his many wives, I started searching for a timeline.   A quick Google search of "Timeline life of King David" brought up approximately 15 Million results!  It's a bit confusing when you take in to consideration the years are BC, but it was very helpful.  I'm sure I'll be referring back to this in the weeks ahead as I study.  The dates here are from a more detailed list, but I've chosen to focus mainly on David's wives and children.  You can read the complete list here.

1040 BC: Saul reigns from roughly 1040-1000 BC

1035 BC: David is likely born in Bethlehem between 1040 and 1030 BC.

1025 BC: David is anointed by Samuel (1Sam 16) at age 10-13.

1020 BC: David defeats Goliath probably at 15-17 years of age (1Sam 17)

1008 BC: His success as a warrior has made Saul offer him the hand of his daughter Michal “as a snare.” (1Sam 18:21). Michal marries him, and she loves him (1Sam 18:27-28).

1007 BC: At Jonathan's warning (and Michal’s), David flees from Saul to Samuel at Ramah (1Sam 19). Michal remains behind with Saul.

1005 BC: David is living “off the land” as he encounters Nabal and Abigail at Carmel (1Sam 25). His men kindly provide protection for Nabal’s flocks expecting to be paid, but Nabal rebuffs them. David threatens to kill Nabal for his affront until Abigail diplomatically intercedes with food and praise. David has married Ahinoam of Jezreel (1Sam 25:43). When Nabal dies shortly after this incident, David marries Abigail as well. In David’s absence, Saul gives Michal to Paltiel in Gallim, which is probably on the border near Jerusalem.

1000 BC: David with the help of his allies assumes control of Judah, and is anointed its king with Hebron as his capital (2Sam 2:7). He reigns for 7 years and 6 months (2Sam 2:11). While there, he marries Maacah, daughter of the king of Geshur. He also marries Haggith, Abital, and Eglah (2Sam 3:1-5) and has  sons and daughters by all but Michal (2Sam 6:23).

David’s Sons:
Amnon by Ahinoam of Jezreel
Kileab by Abigail (Nabal’s widow)
Absalom by Maacah the Caananite (Maacah also bore David's daughter, Tamar)
Adonijah by Haggith
Shephatiah by Abital
Ithream by Eglah

998 BC: Michal is returned to David by Ishbosheth (3:14).

997 BC: David conquers Jerusalem (2Sam 5:6). He rebuilds it, and moves there from Hebron.

993 BC:  David is publicly anointed king over all of Israel, north and south (2Sam 5:17). David’s 33-year reign at Jerusalem begins (1Chr 3:4). His total kingship lasts 40 years (1Kgs. 2:11).

992 BC: Ark returned to Jerusalem to a tent (2Sam 6). Michal mocks David for dancing.

982 BC: After 7-10 years of war, David has solidified his empire (2Sam 8). David’s sons become royal advisers 2Sam 8:18 (though too young – probably 14-18 years old; it distorts their sense of self importance).  Mephibosheth is found and David honors his pledge to Jonathan (2Sam 9).

980 BC: While indulging his children, and allowing his generals to run their own war, David falls prey to the temptations of the flesh, of peace, and of plenty: he sleeps with Bathsheba (2Sam 11). Uriah is slain in April. In December, Nathan confronts David and he repents. The child dies (2Sam 11-12; Ps 51).

979 BC: Solomon is born, youngest of David’s sons, and future heir to the throne.

962 BC: David’s health begins to fail him (1Kgs 1:1-4). A beautiful young woman is sought to serve him and keep him warm in his old age (Abishag). Adonijah, 4th born son of David, attempts a coup with Joab.  At Nathan’s insistence, Bathsheba convinces David to declare Solomon king-in-waiting (per the promise in 2Sam 11:24-25; 1Chr 22:9), and have him assume the throne (1Kgs 1:5-53; 1Chr 23:1; 26:31). David agrees.

961 BC: David calls for a National Assembly, and passes to Solomon his pattern for the temple (1Chr 28). He exhorts the people to give willingly, in joyful worship (1Chr 29:10-20). Solomon is anointed a 2nd time, publicly, and is now co-rex (1Chr 29:1-25). In private, David instructs Solomon to walk with God, and after his death, to deal with Joab and Shimei son of Gera, the traitors (1Kgs 2:1-98).

961 BC: David dies a natural death at 70-75. Although David begins to rule at age 30 for 40 years, he may be older than 70 if we add Solomon’s over-lapping time of rule. (2Sam 5:4-5; 1Kgs 2:10-11; 1Chr 29:26-30; see Ps 90:10). David is buried in Jerusalem (2Sam 5:4-5; 1Kgs 2:10-12; 1Chr 29:26-30), having served God’s purposes in his own generation (Ac 13:22, 36).

Woman of the Week ~ Michal (Wives of King David)

I'm starting an extended study today about the wives of King David.  It's quite an undertaking!  1 Chronicles chapter 3 names the sons of David - 19 in all.  I left one thing out of my list of things that makes marriage "hard" - polygamy!  Being married to a king might have sounded exciting, but being one of many wives was not easy.  Just take a look at this family tree:

I'm starting with who I believe was David's first wife, Michal.

Verses:  1 Samuel 14:49, 1 Samuel 18:17-28, 1 Samuel 19:11-17, 1 Samuel 25:44, 2 Samuel 3:13-16, 2 Samuel 6:14-23, 2 Samuel 21:8, 1 Chronicle 15:29

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings

What is she most known for?

Victories? Defeats?

How can I be like her?

How can I avoid being like her?

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?