After a short morning break on Saturday morning we split into two sessions and Sis. Hughes spoke to the ladies. She talked about "Storms in Your Marriage." This was another really great session that I didn't take a lot of notes on...
There was a hurricane that hit Galveston, Texas in 1900. Approximately 8,000 people, or 20% of the population, was killed. It still remains the deadliest natural disaster in U.S. history. There were stories of people holding on to driftwood through the night as they tried to survive. Everyone experienced the storm, but not everyone survived the storm.
Storms ARE going to come. We must have a strong foundation in order to survive. There may be times when we are just holding on to driftwood, but we can find protection IN the trouble, not from trouble.
Matthew 7:24-27 tells the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built on sand. The storm beat on both houses but Jesus said of the one built on the sand, without a firm foundation, great was the fall.
One of the ways to weather storms is to stockpile forgiveness in your home.
I was reminded again of four years ago when Les and I were going through a storm - my Dad was hospitalized, Les lost his job and our house was broken into all during a five week span. Things were tough for several months, but I'm so thankful that during that storm (and others were have faced) our marriage stayed strong. We held on to God and each other.
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| This picture has nothing to do with the retreat, I just needed to put something here to break up the post ;) Hawaii sure is beautiful! |
We enjoyed a great meal on Saturday evening - Hawaiian Ohana (family) style. Kalua pork and cabbage, chicken, rice, purple sweet potatoes and more! Once our stomachs were full, we feasted one more time on the teaching of Dr. Hughes:
How Will You Handle Offense?
Luke 17:1-10 was the text. In verse one Jesus said, "It is impossible but that offences will come." There's no way around it, it's going to happen. God does not give us the right to settle a score. Confrontation does not solve problems.
Our most powerful need is revenge. You can't transfer pain through revenge. You have to deal with it.
How can I forgive when I can't forget? Forgive and choose to manage the memory.
The Greek word "rebuke" in Luke 17:3 is epitimaō. It is a compound word. "Epi" means position. "Timaō" means to prize, that is, fix a valuation upon; by implication to revere: - honor, value. That's quite a bit different meaning than what I think when I hear the word "rebuke." Jesus was saying "when your brother offends you, I expect you to honor him."
Matthew 18:22-35 tells the parable of the servant who owed a great deal of money. His lord commanded that he and his family be put in prison. The servant pleaded for mercy and received it. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants and showed no mercy. When the other servants heard this, they told the king. "Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?" (verses 32-33) When you don't forgive, you bring your own sins out from under the blood.
We closed out the retreat with each couple standing, holding hands, and praying for each other. It was such a sacred time. Of all the people who pray for me, Les holds the greatest influence. It's a privilege to pray for my husband. I'm not sure I can describe how beautiful it was as we stood there praying and I felt Les' tears falling on me. It seemed everyone in the room was experiencing the same thing as we just quietly stood holding our spouses. Words weren't necessary. There was a sweet presence of God in the place.
Final Thoughts:
Les and I talked so much during this retreat. We had a 20-30 minute drive each way. There were so many points that Dr. Hughes talked about that couples struggle with. Les and I kept saying, "Do you feel that way about me?" Over and over we marveled at how peaceful our marriage is. We are two individuals, humans with faults and failures, but we really get along so well. What you read on this blog is not a cover up for a tumultuous home life. We really are happy.
I enjoyed this retreat so much and I am so thankful for my best friend, my wonderful husband!
