Abigail ~ Woman of the Week (Wives of King David)

I've left poor Abigail hanging for weeks! But here she is now...

I think Abigail is my favorite wife of King David.  She was married to a man who was called a fool who put his household in danger, but she was bold in saving her household and keeping David from shedding unnecessary blood.

Verses: 1 Samuel 25:1-42, 1 Samuel 27:3, 1 Samuel 30:1-18, 2 Samuel 2:2, 2 Samuel 3:3, 1 Chronicles 3:1

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings
We don't know anything about Abigail's parents but there is plenty said about her first husband, Nabal "the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb." (1 Samuel 25:3)  "He was of the house of Caleb, but was indeed of another spirit.  He was a dogged man, of a currish disposition, surly and snappish, and always snarling." (Matthew Henry)

Abigail's name meant "my father's joy."  She is described as "a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance; she was not only of a good understanding in things natural, civil, and domestic, but in things spiritual, as her speech to David shows, and which, with her external form, completed her character, and greatly recommended her." (John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible)

I found some interesting tidbits about her son.  In 1 Chronicles 3:1 he is called "Daniel," but in 2 Samuel 3:3 he is called "Chileab."  "“The second, Daniel, who was also called Chileab, because he was in every respect like to his father.” The Targumist refers here to the import of the word ke-le-ab, like to the father. Jarchi says the two names were given to this person because David, having taken Abigail immediately after the death of Nabal, it could not be ascertained whether this child were the son of David or of Nabal, therefore David called him Daniel, God is my Judge, and Chileab, he who is like to the father; probably from the striking resemblance he bore to David, his reputed father. “God is my Judge, I have not fathered another man’s child; this is entirely like unto myself.”" (Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible)

What is she most known for? Victories? Defeats? How can I be like her? How can I avoid being like her?
1005 BC: David is living “off the land” as he encounters Nabal and Abigail at Carmel.  It's hard to tell Abigail's story without giving some background:

"David and his men lurked in these deserts, associating with the herdsmen and shepherds of Nabal and others and doing them good offices, probably in return for information and supplies obtained through them. Hence when Nabal held his annual sheep-shearing in Carmel, David felt himself entitled to share in the festival and sent a message, recounting his own services and asking for a present.  Nabal’s answer seems to indicate that the country was at the time in a loose and disorderly state. David’s own good conduct, however, as well as the important services rendered by him and his men, were readily attested by Nabal’s servants. The preparations of David to chastise his insolent language and ungrateful requital are exactly what would be done in the present day by Arab chiefs, who protect the cattle of the large and wealthy sheep masters from the attacks of the marauding border tribes or wild beasts. Their protection creates a claim for some kind of tribute, in the shape of supplies of food and necessaries, which is usually given with great good will and gratitude; but when withheld, is enforced as a right. Nabal’s refusal, therefore, was a violation of the established usages of the place." (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown {JFB})

After Nabal's refusal, David gathered 200 of his men, ready to attack. Before he could do so, one of the servant's warned Abigal, who stepped in. "Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses." (I Samuel 25:18) "Wisdom in such a case as this was better than weapons of war. It was her wisdom that what she did she did quickly, and without delay; she made haste. It was no time to trifle or linger when all was in danger." (Matthew Henry)

Abigail met David and his men.  She fell at his feet, begging for mercy but also blessing David and telling of his future.  This is one of the longer passages of recorded words of a woman:

1 Samuel 25:24-31 "And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid. Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send. Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.  And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord. I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid."

"By a present Abigail atoned for Nabal's denial of David's request. Her behavior was very submissive. Yielding pacifies great offenses. She puts herself in the place of a penitent, and of a petitioner. She could not excuse her husband's conduct. She depends not upon her own reasonings, but on God's grace, to soften David, and expects that grace would work powerfully. She says that it was below him to take vengeance on so weak and despicable an enemy as Nabal, who, as he would do him no kindness, so he could do him no hurt. She foretells the glorious end of David's present troubles. God will preserve thy life; therefore it becomes not thee unjustly and unnecessarily to take away the lives of any, especially of the people of thy God and Savior. Abigail keeps this argument for the last, as very powerful with so good a man; that the less he indulged his passion, the more he consulted his peace and the repose of his own conscience." (JFB)

She stopped David in his tracks.  "David said to Abigail, Blessed be the Lord — Transported by passion and blinded by revenge, he was on the eve of perpetrating a great injury. Doubtless, the timely appearance and prudent address of Abigail were greatly instrumental in changing his purpose. At all events, it was the means of opening his eyes to the moral character of the course on which he had been impetuously rushing; and in accepting her present, he speaks with lively satisfaction as well as gratitude to Abigail, for having relieved him from bloodshed." (JFB)

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?
Abigail returned home to find a drunken Nabal, celebrating like a king.  She wisely said nothing to him about where she had been.  The next day "when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone. And it came to pass about ten days after, that the LORD smote Nabal, that he died." (I Samuel 25:36-37)

After Nabal died, Abigail was given a new start when she married David.  "She had no objection nor hesitation in her mind about marrying David but at once consented, and immediately prepared for her journey, having as high an opinion, and as great an esteem of David, as he of her." (John Gill)

Her life was still unsettled as they continued to lived in the wilderness.  Five years later, she is with Ahinoam when they are kidnapped from Ziklag.  They finally settle in Hebron and David is anointed king.  David builds his kingdom and his family, marrying four more wives.

We don't read anything more of Abigail, but I found one interesting "unwritten" thing in 1 Kings chapter 1.  When David was old and dying, "Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, I will be king."  Amnon was David's firstborn, but he was dead.  According the both 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles, Abigail's son Chileab (also known as Daniel) should have been next in line to the throne.   Some commentaries said he might have died young, but the Bible doesn't say that anywhere. Neither Abigail or Chileab try to assert themselves at this time.  I think this says a lot about Abigail the mother.  God had chosen Solomon to be king.  I don't know if Abigail knew this or not, but she continued to be a woman of good understanding and her son never brought shame to his father like so many of his siblings.