Mom had a saying. She used it frequently when we kids were telling her something someone else said. It was her way of making us think about what was said and who said it. You've probably heard it yourself. When one of us would say, "well, so and so said..." she would respond with: Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.Benjamin Franklin said that. He and Mom were pretty smart! When it comes to words, a strong filter on our ears is needed. I hope we all know that we need to be careful of what we say. But what about what we hear? These may be very obvious, but I can't get away from the need to write, so here are some tips on knowing when to listen and when to tune out:
Who is the speaker? Are they a close friend or family member? Have their words been trust worthy in the past? Are they a known gossip? Are they "well meaning" but often misguided? I have read many anonymous blog comments and when poison spews from an anonymous source - just ignore it.
Who is the target? Is the person being talked about someone you know well - you know their life and their habits, whether good or bad?
Why are they telling you about this? Does what you're being told affect you personally? Will this hurt you or your family? Or is it coming from the "I just had to share with someone" angle? If the situation is painful, are they careful in what they say or do they say it with just a little too much glee?
What if YOU are the target? How should you respond to criticism? First, go back to Who is the Speaker? Then ask yourself - why are they telling me this? When I first lost weight on Weight Watchers I had a former co-worker tell me, "Don't get rid of your old clothes, you'll eventually regain the weight and need them." Those words haunted me when I did regain the weight. But I look back now and realize this was a person who was not nice to anyone. She didn't treat any of her co-workers with respect. Her words should not have hurt me, because I had the power to gain or the lose the weight, not her.
And finally, run it through the Philippians 4:8 test:
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise,
think on these things."
And may I add... listen to these things!
