I Have A Question

I want you to answer the following question in your mind before reading the rest of my post.  Don't reason it out, just a quick "yes" or "no."

Is Marriage "Hard"?

I asked Les that question last night and thankfully he gave me a resounding "No!"

Why am I asking this question today?  It started with a post I read yesterday.  The writer has been married about six weeks and has heard frequently that marriage is "hard."  She wondered if the other shoe was going to drop soon.  There was a link in her post to another post with the same title and it had a link to an additional post with a similar title!

First, I want to say shame on the people who are giving marriage a bad name to a young woman who is embarking on the adventure of a lifetime!  Then I want to ask, "Why is YOUR marriage hard?"  Not anyone else's marriage, but YOURS, that you feel you need to say such a thing.

Marriage CAN be hard for many reasons:

• Not understanding and following Biblical roles in marriage.
• Selfishness on the part of one or both parties.
• Silence, holding grudges, saying, "I'm fine" when you're not. 
• Unforgiveness
• Unspoken expectations.
• Unfaithfulness
• Financial hardship due to poor stewardship

Marriage CAN be easy for many reasons:

• Following Biblical roles in marriage - with Christ as the head, the husband loving as Christ loved the church and the wife submitted to her husband.
• Giving on the part of both parties.  
• Communication, forgiveness, speaking up.
• Forgiveness
• Reasonable, spoken expectations.
• Faithfulness
• Financial hardship in spite of good stewardship (job losses and unexpected expenses happen, but they won't crush a marriage that has been based on good stewardship.)

Pastor White mentioned in Bible study last night that recent prenuptial agreements now include cell phone etiquette, such as leaving cell phones off during date nights.  I personally think a prenup is an exit strategy.  If you are planning on marrying someone, shouldn't those plans be "til death do us part?" 

Life, at times, is hard.  That's life.  Bad things happen to all of us.  Hardships come.  But sharing life with the one who knows me better than any other, who loves me in spite of my failures, who cries with me, and laughs with me, that is not hard.

Life, most of the time, is wonderful.  That's life.  Good things happen to all of us.  Blessings come.  Sharing life with the one who knows me better than any other, who loves me and cheers on my successes, who cries with me, and laughs with me, that is not hard, it's wonderful!