The Judgement Oracle (Marriage Retreat, Session 3)

Following our split sessions we had a combined second session on Saturday morning.  Bro. Hughes read from Genesis 3:14-19.  This is "The Judgement Oracle" when Adam and Eve sinned and mankind was cursed.  Adam did not protect Eve when she spoke to the serpent and both their lives experienced chaos.

Genesis 3:16  says,"thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."
Every woman that is born will try to control the man and he will dominate her.  The only hope of the curse being broken is the church.  The answer to the curse is changing our perception of each other.

Warnings to Ephesus
The church in Ephesus had a congregation of between 80,000-120,000 by 100 A.D.  There are five recorded warnings to Ephesus - The book of Ephesians, 1 and 2 Timothy, meeting at the sea coast in Acts 20, and Revelation.
It is the only church that God said He would remove their candlestick - because they left their first love. The Greek definition of the word left is divorce.  The Ephesians quit loving people.
Love never gets lost, it gets divorced.

Be Not Drunk.
Ephesians 5:18 says, "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit."  Facebook gives the same effect as heroin - it's an addiction.  The average person spends 2-3 hours a day on Facebook.  It numbs our lives.  Other things take the place of spending time together.

Bro. Hughes told of watching a group of young people at a restaurant after church.  On his way out, he asked why they all came.  They said it was to spend time together.  He said, "But you haven't talked to anyone."  They had been texting while sitting at the same table.  Texting is not the same as talking.  Thumbs don't talk!

When no one hears what you say, your behavior will become deviant.  Don't let things take the place of your mate.  The only way to prevent becoming deviant is to have no secrets.  Have each other's passwords.  I must be accountable where I'm at and who I'm with.

Phones are More Dangerous Than a Gun
Our most powerful instinct is to be safe.  Your brain is constantly checking.  The survival instinct never turns off, even while asleep.  Phones never trigger a defensive mechanism.  The brain cannot tell you are in danger.  Text messages that seem innocent have the power to destroy.
Smart phones numb life.  Be not drunk with social media, texting, Facebook.
People get hurt by media.  They aren't going to learn the gospel online, they must be in an environment where the Spirit can be felt.

How To Be Happy
Ephesians 5:19 says, "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord."
Learn how to be happy.  Stand in the front of the mirror and practice your happy face.  Happiness is a choice.
Romans 14:17 says, " For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."
Three characteristics of happy people - righteousness, peace and joy.
Don't numb life.  Change your life by what you talk and sing about.  Take the two hours you spend on media and spend it with the ones you love.

Submission
Good relationships start with submitting ourselves one to another in the fear of God. (Ephesians 5:21)
Submission starts with who you are accountable to.  Your spouse has a right to know where you are.
Grow up and act like an adult.  We don't need any help acting like a jerk.
Accountability is the most important thing you can have in your marriage.
Lose accountability and you will become evil in no time.
Submitting yourselves = accountability.
Man's responsibility is to make sure she's protected.
Woman's responsibility is to submit.
Men love their wives.  Wives honor her husband.
Men don't need to be hugged, they need to be respected.

The Power of Words
The power of life and death is in the tongue.
Research shows that words can damage DNA and words can heal DNA.  Who ever said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," was wrong!  Words scar for life.

The Conclusion of Ephesians 5:18-21:
Don't numb life
Create happiness in the home
Submit to one another
Love her, respect him
All the chaos goes away.

Hagar (Woman of the Week)

Monday's post on InspiredReads.com had a book that caught my eye.  "Women of the Bible" is a year long devotional focusing in 52 women of the Bible.  I did not buy it!  I thought it was neat that someone else had done a similar study, but I want this to be MY study, what I personally learn about women in the Bible.  These special features did tempt me, especially the timeline.
• A list of all the women of the Bible
• Timeline of the women of the Bible
• A list of women in Jesus’ family tree
• A list of women in Jesus’ life and ministry

But for this week, we'll look at Hagar.  It's difficult to separate Hagar from Abraham and Sarah, but I want to leave them out as much as possible. I know that Genesis chapter 16 is before God changed their names, for this post (to make it easy on myself,) I'll be calling them Abraham and Sarah, unless I am directly quoting from a commentary.

Verses:  Genesis chapter 16 and chapter 21 

Background – parents, husband, children, siblings

We don't know a lot about Hagar's background.  She was an Egyptian, probably acquired during Abraham and Sarah's stay in Egypt.  She was Sarah's maid and later became Abraham's second wife.  She had one son, Ishmael.

What is she most known for? Victories? Defeats? How can I be like her? How can I avoid being like her?

Hagar was Sarah and Abraham's "solution."  They got impatient waiting for the promised child so Sarah gave Hagar as a substitute.  As soon as Hagar saw that she had conceived "her mistress was despised in her eyes." (Genesis 16:4)  Hagar went from a maid to a wife to an expectant mother, and quickly forgot her place.  In the Genesis Record, Dr. Morris points out that God's plan included only monogamous marriage.  There are many instances of polygamous marriages in the Bible but not a single happy polygamous marriage.

Marrying outside God's plan is going to bring heartache.  It also brings confusion to children.  When one parent is committed to loving God and the other is not, children will choose one way.  I realize that children raised by two godly parents may still go astray, but those with a parent who does not follow after the ways of God will have an "easy out" when it comes to following the way of man.  To my single friends - don't get impatient with God's timing!  Don't go outside His plan to find a mate.

Two different times we find Hagar on her own.  Once she is fleeing from her mistress, the second time she is sent away.  Both times an angel of the Lord appears to her, telling her what will become of her child, Ishmael. God knew where Hagar was, but I'm not sure that Hagar ever embraced the God of Abraham.

Genesis 17:18 says, "And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!"  Some commentators said Abraham was praying that God would allow Ishmael to also be his heir.  Ishmael was thirteen years old at this time, about a year before Isaac was born.  I have to wonder if he was already showing signs of loving the Egyptian ways more than the ways of the God of Abraham.  What was his mother teaching him?  It appears that her influence was greater than Abraham's.

Did she reach a place when she needed to reset?  If so, did she?  For good or evil?

When Hagar knew she conceived, she despised Sarah.  From Matthew Henry's commentary, "Now she thinks herself a better woman than Sarai, more favored by Heaven, and likely to be better beloved by Abram; and therefore she will not submit as she has done.  Mean and servile spirits, when favored and advanced either by God or man, are apt to grow haughty and insolent, and to forget their place and origin."

After Sarah dealt harshly with her, Hagar fled.  The angel of the Lord found her, calling her Sarah's maid, not Abraham's wife. The angel told her to submit to Sarah. It might appear that Hagar returned to Sarah with a changed heart.  The angel told her to return and submit under her hands.  But I wonder, did she really?  Hagar was still carrying a child, Sarah was still barren.  Hagar knew that she was going to have Abraham's son.  For more than thirteen years, Ishmael was Abraham's only son.  Did she whisper in his ear, "YOU are the heir?"  Was she filled with pride as her son grew strong while Sarah remained barren?

When we fast forward to chapter 21 we see a different situation.  Isaac has been born and is now weaned.  Sarah is filled with joy and laughter.  Many believe Isaac was two or three years old at this time, making Ishmael 16 or 17.  The celebration of Isaac's weaning finds Ishmael mocking.  A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown says, "Ishmael was aware of the great change in his prospects, and under the impulse of irritated or resentful feelings, in which he was probably joined by his mother, treated the young heir with derision and probably some violence."  That's a lot stronger than mocking!   These are not the actions of a mother and child who are submissive to their mistress.

Obviously, Sarah had had enough.  "Cast out this bondwoman and her son," seems harsh over a laughing teenager, but it was obviously much more than that.  I think this behavior may have been going on a long time.  Albert Barnes' commentary says, "It seems likely that Hagar and Ishmael had so behaved as to deserve their dismissal from the sacred home."   God backs Sarah telling Abraham to hearken to her words.  Abraham sent the two of them away.  Matthew Henry's commentary put it this way, "If Hagar and Ishmael had conducted themselves well in Abraham's family, they might have continued there; but they threw themselves out by their own pride and insolence, which were thus justly chastised."

I feel that Hagar returned before Ishmael's birth and acted submissive, but I'm not convinced that she ever truly had a submissive heart and spirit.  It is easy to submit when things are going our way.  Wives, we are submissive when our husband give us the credit card and tell us to have a fun day shopping, but when it's time to reign in our spending is when our test of submission really comes. Saints submit until the pastor says "No" to their favorite past time.  I think Hagar failed the submission test.

Tell me what you think about Hagar.  Do you think she was treated unfairly or was she sent away with cause?

Obedience and Submission

Yesterday on Classic Mary Moments, Mary wrote about the subject of submission. I was thinking about that post later in the day. The idea of submitting to another person is not one we like to easily swallow. But the fact of the matter is, our fallen human nature doesn't want to submit to God either! It is only in dying to self on a daily basis that we will when the battle of obedience and submission.

This little story is humorous, but it illustrates the point perfectly.

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.  After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.  And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit?  We got forbidden fruit?"

"Hey, Eve . . .we got forbidden fruit."

"NO WAY."

"Don't eat that fruit ! said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Father and I said so!" said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not."

"Did so."

"Did NOT !!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.  Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

But there is a reassurance in this story.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.  If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?