Marriage is Like a Symphony (Marriage Retreat, Session 2)

Our Saturday morning started with split sessions.  Sis. Hughes spoke to the ladies while Bro. Hughes spoke to the men.  Sis. Hughes was so good, she was also funny as she talked about her husband "stealing" all her notes!  Bro. Hughes covered some of the things she had in her notes on Friday night.  I felt the lessons were completely different and thoroughly enjoyed what Sis. Hughes had to say.

The title for her lesson was "Marriage is Like a Symphony."  Is your marriage in harmony or is it a clamoring sound?  Her text was Matthew 19:6, "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

One Flesh
We become one flesh when we are married, but not one person.  Don't lose your identity.

Can You Imagine Growing Old Together?
This is a question Sis. Hughes asked her husband many years ago.  In order to do that, you must work at your marriage.  You have to learn day by day.  Every day is a new opportunity to strengthen your marriage.  Learn to enjoy every day.

Opposites Attract
There are very few marriages where the couples have the same personalities.

Communication is the Foundation of a Good Marriage.
There are steps in communication as we get to know someone.
1.  Casual, this is when we are just starting to know someone.  It progresses to
2.  Sharing information
3.  Sharing our fears
4.  Sharing our feelings
5.  Sharing our secrets
This can be a stumbling block in marriages.
You should not have a close male friend if you are married.  The only man you should be sharing your fears, feelings and secrets with is your husband.

God Wants Your Marriage to be Harmonious.
We must have an open exchange of emotions, desires and beliefs.

Key to Communication 
Explain what you're thinking.
Words are like toothpaste - once out, they can never be put back.
Rough times can and will change how you communicate.
Fight through the tough times to strengthen your marriage.  When a couple says, "we don't communicate" they mean "we don't communicate effectively."
There is more to communication than words.  You don't have to say a word to get your point across.  Communication is verbal and non verbal.

"Rights" in Marriage
"I have a right to hold on to anger."  That kind of thinking destroys marriages.

Symphony of Sounds
First there is the warm up.
Ladies are like the violins.  Men are the tubas. 
When they don't play from the same page, the music is clamorous.

Beethoven's 5th Symphony
This is the most famous symphony.  It was written during a time of great distress in Beethoven's life - he was slowly losing his hearing.  He wanted to hear every instrument.  The symphony has harsh tones and smooth melodies.  Our marriages are like that.  We need to make communication in our marriage a peaceful sound.   

Women Thrive on Relationships
Women love to do things in groups. 
What might have happened in the garden - Eve tried to talk to Adam and he wouldn't listen, so she talked to the snake.

I Married My Best Friend
Don't treat your husband like your girlfriend.  Your relationship is unique with him.  Best friends make life better.  They hang tough when times get tough.
Social media makes everyone's life look perfect.  No one has a perfect life.  Your marriage is normal.  (I wrote about why I don't blog about my bad days here.) 

You Husband Needs to Feel Needed
He wants to be your hero.

We Need a Good Listening Partner (and we need to be one)
Marriage is a beautiful symphony if God is the conductor.

Stages in Marriage
1.  Newly married.  See each other for who you are, don't try to change your husband.  Disengage from how your parents did it.
2.  New parents.  When children come everything changes.  Often the husband is on the back burner.  Take time for your husband.
3.  Empty nest.  Couples must redefine their relationship with each other.
4.  Retirement.  Couples are together 24/7.  Often taking care of aging parents.  This can be a battlefield.
Figure out how to take care of each other in every stage.
Emotional needs become more important as we get older.  We need to be more attentive of each other.

People in Happy Marriages Live Longer.
The average marriage lasts seven years.

Marriage is the Greatest Thing God Ever Created
In marriage we must be open with each other.  We must be comfortable expressing ourselves to each other.