Repost: Natural Temperament

While I was looking for my "Flip the Change" post, I stumbled on another post that I wrote that contained the word "flip."  The "flip" in this post is about music and vocal parts, but after reading it, I decided it need to be re-posted, too.

 

Some of the commentary about Martha and Mary has really had my mind working.  Matthew Henry pointed out the two different temperaments of the sisters, "and the temptations and advantages of each."  God created us with natural tendencies, but our fallen nature can cause trouble no matter what feels natural.  He went on to say, "it will be our wisdom carefully to watch against the temptations, and improve the advantages, of our natural temper."  He didn't mention trying to improve anyone else's natural temper - that is an exercise in futility!  A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown said, "Both are needed, each to be the complement of the other."

Respect for the natural temperament of others is vitally important for any healthy relationship.  Sometimes those natural temperaments aren't easily apparent, but in time we learn.  Let me give you an example using singers:

A children's choir usually just sings unison.  There are no apparent sopranos, altos or tenors.  They have two ways to sing, soft or loud, which often means yelling!

 

At some point most of us move up to a youth choir and start realizing we can sing parts.  There will be some girls who can't reach the high parts any longer - they are naturally altos.  The young men go back and forth from lead to tenor as their voices change, and some never can sing tenor - they are naturally basses.  And then there are ladies like me who sing soprano.  I can sing alto, but it's very unnatural.  If I'm singing alto during service - the song is probably in a very high key, or I have a cold!

By the time we reach adult choir status, our natural parts are firmly in our minds.  A choir that sings three part harmony sounds very beautiful.  When all the parts join in unison, it sounds nice, and then the parts come back in a powerful way.  Sometimes the choir director will have the parts flip - everyone is singing a part that is unnatural, but it gives a new punch!  And we're all happy (and sometimes relieved) when we go back to our natural parts.

In all of this, if the sopranos started complaining that the altos and tenors needed to sing soprano, we would all think they were silly.  Altos need to sing alto!  Tenors need to sing tenor!  And sopranos need to own their soprano part!  A choir takes natural ability, blends it together, respects differences, and comes out with a beautiful sound.

So when it comes to our natural temperaments, we need to work on blending with others who are different from us.  All types are needed, to be the complement of the others.

I'll use myself as an example here.  My natural temperament is somewhat reserved and quiet.  (Yes, really!)  I need quiet time.  I enjoy spending time with friends and family, but there comes a point that I need quiet.  I've been misunderstood plenty through the years, and I've tried many times to suppress that need, but that has backfired at times.  My spirit needs quiet.  I've been running for years.  It was only when I started training for my first marathon that I started running with music and that was only on my weekly long run.  I can run for an hour or more with just my thoughts for company and come home refreshed.  Most of the time in our home we don't have a radio or stereo playing - we're content with quiet.

I also understand that not everyone is like me.  There are people who thrive on crowds.  They want to share everything about themselves and want to know everything about everyone else.  I enjoy those kinds of people, even though I know I am not like them.  I can be talkative and friendly, but after a while I just run out of words and my ears are tired!  I'm not in a bad mood or upset, I just need quiet.  (I do realize these are just two types of the many people on this planet!)

I know there I times I need to move beyond my personal preferences.  I make an effort to speak to guests in our church, even though it doesn't come naturally.  I'd be content to let others take that role, but I know this is important whether it's comfortable or not.  On the flip side, I have heard many times that a friend can talk to me and know that I am not going to repeat anything that has been said in confidence.  My quiet nature means I know when to keep quiet.

Our natural temperament is never an excuse to be unkind to others.  "That's just the way I am," does not excuse rudeness.  "I just say how I feel," is never acceptable when we have been demeaning, hurtful, or unkind.  As Matthew Henry said, we must "carefully to watch against the temptations, and improve the advantages, of our natural temper."  

In 1 Corinthians chapter 12, the Apostle Paul gave us a beautiful illustration of being one body with many members.  Just remember this - God set the members as it pleased him.

For the body is not one member, but many.
If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet but one body.
And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

Perspective

Perspective is always a good thing.  It's so easy to focus only on ourselves, but when we look outward, our perspective can change.  I don't know who wrote this, but various versions are floating around on the internet and I thought it was worth sharing.  Les' grandpa, Earl McElhaney, was born in the year 1900, so I've included a few pictures of him in this post.

It’s a mess out there now. Hard to discern between what’s a real threat and what is just simple panic and hysteria. For a small amount of perspective at this moment, imagine you were born in 1900.

On your 14th birthday, World War I starts, and ends on your 18th birthday. 22 million people perish in that war. Later in the year, a Spanish Flu epidemic hits the planet and runs until your 20th birthday. 50 million people die from it in those two years. Yes, 50 million.

On your 29th birthday, the Great Depression begins. Unemployment hits 25%, the World GDP drops 27%. That runs until you are 33. The country nearly collapses along with the world economy.

When you turn 39, World War II starts. You aren’t even over the hill yet. And don’t try to catch your breath. On your 41st birthday, the United States is fully pulled into WWII. Between your 39th and 45th birthday, 75 million people perish in the war.

Smallpox was epidemic until you were in your 40’s, as it killed 300 million people during your lifetime.

At 50, the Korean War starts. 5 million perish. From your birth, until you were 55, you dealt with the fear of polio epidemics each summer. You experience friends and family contracting polio and being paralyzed and/or dying.

At 55 the Vietnam War begins and doesn’t end for 20 years. 4 million people perish in that conflict. During the Cold War, you lived each day with the fear of nuclear annihilation. On your 62nd birthday you have the Cuban Missile Crisis, a tipping point in the Cold War. Life on our planet, as we know it, almost ended. When you turn 75, the Vietnam War finally ends.

Think of everyone on the planet born in 1900. How did they endure all of that? When you were a kid in 1985 and didn’t think your 85 year old grandparent understood how hard school was. And how mean that kid in your class was. Yet they survived through everything listed above. Perspective is an amazing art. Refined and enlightening as time goes on. Let’s try and keep things in perspective. Your parents and/or grandparents were called to endure all of the above – you are called to stay home and sit on your couch.

Natural Temperament

Some of the commentary about Martha and Mary has really had my mind working.  Matthew Henry pointed out the two different temperaments of the sisters, "and the temptations and advantages of each."  God created us with natural tendencies, but our fallen nature can cause trouble no matter what feels natural.  He went on to say, "it will be our wisdom carefully to watch against the temptations, and improve the advantages, of our natural temper."  He didn't mention trying to improve anyone else's natural temper - that is an exercise in futility!  A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown said, "Both are needed, each to be the complement of the other."

Respect for the natural temperament of others is vitally important for any healthy relationship.  Sometimes those natural temperaments aren't easily apparent, but in time we learn.  Let me give you an example using singers:

A children's choir usually just sings unison.  There are no apparent sopranos, altos or tenors.  They have two ways to sing, soft or loud, which often means yelling!

 

At some point most of us move up to a youth choir and start realizing we can sing parts.  There will be some girls who can't reach the high parts any longer - they are naturally altos.  The young men go back and forth from lead to tenor as their voices change, and some never can sing tenor - they are naturally basses.  And then there are ladies like me who sing soprano.  I can sing alto, but it's very unnatural.  If I'm singing alto during service - the song is probably in a very high key, or I have a cold!

By the time we reach adult choir status, our natural parts are firmly in our minds.  A choir that sings three part harmony sounds very beautiful.  When all the parts join in unison, it sounds nice, and then the parts come back in a powerful way.  Sometimes the choir director will have the parts flip - everyone is singing a part that is unnatural, but it gives a new punch!  And we're all happy (and sometimes relieved) when we go back to our natural parts.

In all of this, if the sopranos started complaining that the altos and tenors needed to sing soprano, we would all think they were silly.  Altos need to sing alto!  Tenors need to sing tenor!  And sopranos need to own their soprano part!  A choir takes natural ability, blends it together, respects differences, and comes out with a beautiful sound.

So when it comes to our natural temperaments, we need to work on blending with others who are different from us.  All types are needed, to be the complement of the others.

I'll use myself as an example here.  My natural temperament is somewhat reserved and quiet.  (Yes, really!)  I need quiet time.  I enjoy spending time with friends and family, but there comes a point that I need quiet.  I've been misunderstood plenty through the years, and I've tried many times to suppress that need, but that has backfired at times.  My spirit needs quiet.  I've been running for years.  It was only when I started training for my first marathon that I started running with music and that was only on my weekly long run.  I can run for an hour or more with just my thoughts for company and come home refreshed.  Most of the time in our home we don't have a radio or stereo playing - we're content with quiet.

I also understand that not everyone is like me.  There are people who thrive on crowds.  They want to share everything about themselves and want to know everything about everyone else.  I enjoy those kinds of people, even though I know I am not like them.  I can be talkative and friendly, but after a while I just run out of words and my ears are tired!  I'm not in a bad mood or upset, I just need quiet.  (I do realize these are just two types of the many people on this planet!)

I know there I times I need to move beyond my personal preferences.  I make an effort to speak to guests in our church, even though it doesn't come naturally.  I'd be content to let others take that role, but I know this is important whether it's comfortable or not.  On the flip side, I have heard many times that a friend can talk to me and know that I am not going to repeat anything that has been said in confidence.  My quiet nature means I know when to keep quiet.

Our natural temperament is never an excuse to be unkind to others.  "That's just the way I am," does not excuse rudeness.  "I just say how I feel," is never acceptable when we have been demeaning, hurtful, or unkind.  As Matthew Henry said, we must "carefully to watch against the temptations, and improve the advantages, of our natural temper."  

In 1 Corinthians chapter 12, the Apostle Paul gave us a beautiful illustration of being one body with many members.  Just remember this - God set the members as it pleased him.

For the body is not one member, but many.
If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet but one body.
And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

Perspective

I read this quote on She's Intentional the other day: 

“God forbid we collect more soles than souls, that we know our Creator less than Chanel, and that we spend more to carry Gucci than the gospel.

Help us if we visit Zion less than Zara, wear the Armor less than Armani, and forget Kate’s not that great compared to the Great-I-Am.

Because we all know the devil wears Prada.

How can we spend thousands on handbags while giving pennies to hand out Bibles?

Are we trading Fossil or fossils and Versace for living vessels?

Because Louis never loved me and Dooney never died for me.

Jimmy Choo can’t help like Jesus Christ, and what’s a Kors compared to the Cross?”

- T. Hubba

I've been chewing on it for days and have absolutely nothing to add.