Repost: Natural Temperament

While I was looking for my "Flip the Change" post, I stumbled on another post that I wrote that contained the word "flip."  The "flip" in this post is about music and vocal parts, but after reading it, I decided it need to be re-posted, too.

 

Some of the commentary about Martha and Mary has really had my mind working.  Matthew Henry pointed out the two different temperaments of the sisters, "and the temptations and advantages of each."  God created us with natural tendencies, but our fallen nature can cause trouble no matter what feels natural.  He went on to say, "it will be our wisdom carefully to watch against the temptations, and improve the advantages, of our natural temper."  He didn't mention trying to improve anyone else's natural temper - that is an exercise in futility!  A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown said, "Both are needed, each to be the complement of the other."

Respect for the natural temperament of others is vitally important for any healthy relationship.  Sometimes those natural temperaments aren't easily apparent, but in time we learn.  Let me give you an example using singers:

A children's choir usually just sings unison.  There are no apparent sopranos, altos or tenors.  They have two ways to sing, soft or loud, which often means yelling!

 

At some point most of us move up to a youth choir and start realizing we can sing parts.  There will be some girls who can't reach the high parts any longer - they are naturally altos.  The young men go back and forth from lead to tenor as their voices change, and some never can sing tenor - they are naturally basses.  And then there are ladies like me who sing soprano.  I can sing alto, but it's very unnatural.  If I'm singing alto during service - the song is probably in a very high key, or I have a cold!

By the time we reach adult choir status, our natural parts are firmly in our minds.  A choir that sings three part harmony sounds very beautiful.  When all the parts join in unison, it sounds nice, and then the parts come back in a powerful way.  Sometimes the choir director will have the parts flip - everyone is singing a part that is unnatural, but it gives a new punch!  And we're all happy (and sometimes relieved) when we go back to our natural parts.

In all of this, if the sopranos started complaining that the altos and tenors needed to sing soprano, we would all think they were silly.  Altos need to sing alto!  Tenors need to sing tenor!  And sopranos need to own their soprano part!  A choir takes natural ability, blends it together, respects differences, and comes out with a beautiful sound.

So when it comes to our natural temperaments, we need to work on blending with others who are different from us.  All types are needed, to be the complement of the others.

I'll use myself as an example here.  My natural temperament is somewhat reserved and quiet.  (Yes, really!)  I need quiet time.  I enjoy spending time with friends and family, but there comes a point that I need quiet.  I've been misunderstood plenty through the years, and I've tried many times to suppress that need, but that has backfired at times.  My spirit needs quiet.  I've been running for years.  It was only when I started training for my first marathon that I started running with music and that was only on my weekly long run.  I can run for an hour or more with just my thoughts for company and come home refreshed.  Most of the time in our home we don't have a radio or stereo playing - we're content with quiet.

I also understand that not everyone is like me.  There are people who thrive on crowds.  They want to share everything about themselves and want to know everything about everyone else.  I enjoy those kinds of people, even though I know I am not like them.  I can be talkative and friendly, but after a while I just run out of words and my ears are tired!  I'm not in a bad mood or upset, I just need quiet.  (I do realize these are just two types of the many people on this planet!)

I know there I times I need to move beyond my personal preferences.  I make an effort to speak to guests in our church, even though it doesn't come naturally.  I'd be content to let others take that role, but I know this is important whether it's comfortable or not.  On the flip side, I have heard many times that a friend can talk to me and know that I am not going to repeat anything that has been said in confidence.  My quiet nature means I know when to keep quiet.

Our natural temperament is never an excuse to be unkind to others.  "That's just the way I am," does not excuse rudeness.  "I just say how I feel," is never acceptable when we have been demeaning, hurtful, or unkind.  As Matthew Henry said, we must "carefully to watch against the temptations, and improve the advantages, of our natural temper."  

In 1 Corinthians chapter 12, the Apostle Paul gave us a beautiful illustration of being one body with many members.  Just remember this - God set the members as it pleased him.

For the body is not one member, but many.
If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet but one body.
And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

Repost: Flip Your Change, Dad

Father's Day is this coming Sunday.  I was blessed with a wonderful Dad!  I was definitely Daddy's girl and I miss him dearly.  I wrote this post in 2017 but was reminded of it on Sunday.  The little things that we do, those that don't take a lot of time and effort, really do make a difference.

I don't remember exactly how or when it started, but Dad had a little game that he played with Rod and me.  We were young teenagers without jobs or cars.  Dad came home one Friday night with a bunch of change in his pocket.  I asked if I could have it.  Of course Rod wanted it, too.

"Flip your change, Dad."

This became a Friday evening tradition.  Dad in his chair.  Rod and me on the floor at his feet. Heads or tails.  Mine or yours.  Much groaning and gloating ensued depending on which way the coin landed.  But there was also laughter, so much laughter as the three of us watched each penny, nickle, dime and quarter land on the floor.

"Flip your change, Dad."

 

Dad could have easily said, "Just split the money evenly."  He could have been done with us in seconds and gone back to relaxing in his chair with the paper.  Mom was somewhere nearby, smiling as the three of us spent time doing something so small together.

"Flip your change, Dad."

I'm the only one remaining in our family who was part of that tradition.  I don't know who got the most money each week.  And it really didn't matter.  That was just a small part of what was happening.  We were making memories that lasted.  The bond we shared over a couple dollars in change is one that I think about often. 

"Flip your change, Dad."

I wonder as his work week was winding down, did he start collecting a little extra change so he'd have more to flip?  He never ended the week without change.  It was a fun time for Rod and me, but I think it was just as much fun for Dad.  We were at the age where many kids start pulling away from their parents, but our relationship grew stronger in those moments over a few coins being flipped in the air.

"Flip your change, Dad."

Never think that if you can't offer a grand gesture, you shouldn't do anything at all.  Small things are building blocks in any relationship.

"Flip your change, Dad."

Monday Adventure

I went for a run one day last week.  I took a route that I have run hundreds of times in my 25+ years of running.  While I was out, I noticed a dirt trail that I had never been on and decided to explore a little bit.  I didn't got far before the trail got a little more technical that I wanted for the shoes I was wearing.  I headed back there today with my trail shoes on.

 

About two miles from home I went up what Les and I call "Water Tower Wall."  Any hill that is super steep is considered a wall.  Just about a third of a mile long, with over 200' of elevation gain and an average grade of 12.5% - this definitely qualifies as a wall.

I turned around at the top and came down a little bit before turning on to the trail.  The surface was firm for the most part, not too steep and mostly downhill.  Just under a mile later, I popped out on Mt. Sinai Drive.

My total distance for the day was six miles, 760 feet of elevation gain, in about 70 minutes.  It was the perfect morning with slightly overcast skies.  I'll definitely be doing this one again!

Going Bananas!

A year ago we were hard at work getting our landscaping done.  We planted two of our three banana trees on June 4th:

The third one went in about a week later:

 

 

By July 1st, they looked like this:

One year later, here they are, higher than the wall and over 50 inches tall!

It is amazing to watch their progress.  They took a beating during our Santa Ana wind season, but they are coming back strong.

2 Samuel 13

My Bible reading today included 2 Samuel chapter 13.  This is one of the toughest chapters to read.  Amnon who "loved" his half-sister, Tamar.  The council of his cousin, Jonadab.  Absalom's revenge.  I studied Tamar in 2015.  It's a lengthy post that you can read here.  It still hurts to read the account.

The chapter takes another dark turn as Absalom waits for David to deal with Amnon.  Absalom waited two years for his father to do something.  I've also written about that and you can read about it here.

What hit me today was the actions of Jonadab and how it is happening again today.  He was the son of Shimeah, David's brother.  He was the grandson of Jesse.  He wasn't an outsider to the children of Israel.  He was the one that put the plan in place for Amnon, telling him to pretend to be sick, then have David send Tamar to him. Jonadab was an influencer.  His words never hurt him but they started a chain of events that led to rape and murder.

We are seeing the influence of the media, politicians, and school teachers become stronger and stronger.  Children and young people are being encouraged to choose their gender, take hormones or hormone blockers or have abortions, all without parental knowledge or consent.  Many of these people act like Jonadab, as "a friend."   We're looking at the first couple of verses of this story, but I believe it's going to bring devastating results just like it did in the lives of Tamar, Amnon and Absalom.

This paragraph is in my post about Tamar:

A simple Google search on "rape" brought up over 266 million results and  "rape statistics" brought up over 66 million results.  One quote really caught my attention, "one pedophile interviewed by Oprah Winfrey confessed, a pedophile steals more than a child's innocence. He steals her future. He described his crime as a form of murder because, as he said, 'I killed who she could have been one day.'" This certainly describes what happened to Tamar. 

 

Those who are influencing children and young people today are also stealing and killing their futures.  We are living in perilous times and we need to fight to protect our families.

Bitterness - The Link from Love to Hate

I started reading the book of 2 Samuel this week.  As I continue reading about David's life I am reminded of the wives of David that I studied.  His first wife was Michal, the daughter of King Saul.  My feelings about her really changed after studying her a little more deeply.  You can read the entire post here, but I thought I'd share what I think turned her from loving David to despising him.

1 Samuel 18:20 says that Michal loved David, the only place in the Bible where a woman's love for a man is recorded, according to footnotes in The Jewish Study Bible.  This is repeated in verse 28 of the same chapter.  However, there is no biblical record of David having loved Michal.   When Saul learned that Michal loved David he hoped that she would be a snare to David.

I posted a timeline of the life of David here.  It was very helpful as I studied.

In 1008 B.C. David married Michal.  After approximately one year of marriage, David fled because Saul wanted to kill him.  Michal was left behind.  In 1005 B.C. Michal was given to Paltiel in Gallim.  During David's time on the run, he married Abigail and Ahinoam.

Five years later, in 1000 B.C., Saul and Jonathan are killed in battle and David is anointed king.  David marries four additional wives and has at least six sons by his six wives.

998 BC - Michal returned to David
They were only together one year, now some nine years and six wives later David wants Michal back.  I can't even imagine how she must have felt.  Her father and brothers were all dead.  The young man she loved and married has spent years as a warrior on the run and is now the king with six wives and at least six sons.  I'm sure that's not quite the marriage she had dreamed of.  Some commentaries said he wanted her back because he loved her, but others said it was purely political.

Sadly, Michal seemed to be married to a man who wanted just her.  When Ishbosheth took her from her husband, he "went with her along weeping behind her." (2 Samuel 3:16)  "Because of his great affection to her, unwilling to part with her, but forced to it at the command of the king." (John Gill)  That is such a sad picture to me!  And I wonder if it was then that the root of bitterness that had been growing reached full growth.  Maybe Michal was proud to be called back to the palace, but it wasn't going to be easy.

 

992 BC - The ark is returned. 
Six years after Michal is returned to David a great celebration takes place. The ark of God is brought back with sacrifices and great rejoicing.  On this great day, the verse that tells how much Michal has changed appears, "And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart."  

Michal had gone from loving David to despising him.  This same phrase "she despised him in her heart" is also found in 1Chronicles 15:29.  As soon as David returned home, Michal went out to meet him.  She was so harsh mocking his worship.  "And said, how glorious was the king of Israel today; which she spoke in an ironical jeering way, meaning the reverse, how inglorious, mean, and despicable he had made himself to be, by his airs and gestures." (John Gill)  "Proud of her royal extraction, she upbraided her husband for lowering the dignity of the crown and acting more like a buffoon than a king." (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown)

Following David and Michal's exchange is a very sad verse, "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death." (2 Samuel 6:23)

 

While I cannot agree with how Michal mocked David, a part of me understands why.  David was in his 20s when they were married.  It is possible that Michal was still a teenager.  A teenager greatly influenced by a father who was filled with hatred.  

We all have the opportunity to choose bitterness when life is difficult.  When I was a child and would tell my mom, "it's not fair!" she always responded with "life isn't fair."  She was right.  Life isn't fair.  We don't always get our way.  Hard times come, but it's how we handle the unfairness of life that determines if we will be bitter or victorious.

Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  At the heart of it all, Michal's problem wasn't that she loved or despised David, but I don't think she ever loved God.  If we keep a love for God in our hearts, then no matter the turns life takes, we can know that it will all work together for our good.

Visits Here and There

 It's been a busy few weeks for us...

A Visit Here

Sometime in late March Sis. McGriffin contacted me to let me know that she and Pastor Mac would be flying to Los Angeles, then taking a cruise up the coast to Canada.  They were going to fly in a couple days early.  They had Thursday, April 28th, completely free so we invited them for a visit.  We all went to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and enjoyed a very delightful day. We took them to dinner at Santour Kabobery, one of our favorite restaurants here in Simi.  I did not take a single picture, but a good time was had by all!

A Visit There

For Mother's Day this year, Les wanted to go see his mom.  We flew to Nashville on Friday, May 6th.  We were suppose to get there around midnight Friday night, but a flight delay in Dallas had us arriving well after 2:00 Saturday morning.  We had already planned to spend the night in Nashville before driving to Cookeville on Saturday.

We spent Saturday evening with Bill and Dolly.  For those who were in our recent Adult Sunday School class, this is when the title for Les' lesson came about.  "The Baptist and the Bootlegger" came about as Les' dad was reminiscing about his parents and the way God changed their lives.

 

We attended First Church of Cookeville on Mother's Day.  The pastor's wife, Sis. Adrienne Hodum, did an excellent job talking about Mothers' hands.   We spent the rest of the day eating and visiting.

We met up with Les' sister, Lisa, and her husband, Rick, for breakfast on Monday morning.  Our visit extended to a trip to their house and a few hours of uninterrupted visiting.  None of their four kids were home at the time, something that I'm sure is going to be the new normal as their youngest will turn 18 this Fall.

We swung by Bill and Dolly's for one last visit before heading back the Nashville and flying home Monday afternoon.  Again, I didn't take a single picture, but a good time was had by all!

Another Visit Here

On May 17th, we had more visitors!  The Indy Macs - Les' brother, Lance, and his wife, Monica, along with their youngest daughter, Hannah, flew in from Indiana.  The guys did their typical male bonding on their bikes (four rides in four days) while we ladies did what I like to call "mall bonding."

While Les and Lance were cycling, we ladies spent Wednesday at the Los Angeles Fashion District.  I'm still calling it the Garment District, but I guess they're trying to sound a little more upscale.  We spent several hours wandering and chatting without doing any spending.  I finally bought a skirt, but the rest of our money stayed in our wallets.

 

On Thursday, while Les and Lance were cycling, Hannah wanted to go to a Zara store.  This led us to The Oaks Mall in Thousand Oaks.  Of course no self respecting shopper can go to a mall and just go to one store!  We spent a couple hours browsing and Hannah and Monica both found some goodies at H&M. 

Thursday evening we headed to the Santa Monica Pier.  It was a cool evening and we enjoyed wandering before settling in for a late dinner at Bubba Gumps.

 

On Friday, while Les and Lance were cycling, we found ourselves at Nordstrom Rack.  We also went to our local coffee shop, Dr. Conkey's.  Les and I have bought coffee there several times, but this time we also got some of their truffles.  We were not disappointed!

Friday evening was the first service of our Missions Conference.  It was also the Indy Mac's final night in town.  Hannah really wanted to go to the Griffith Park Observatory.  It is currently only open Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so Les and I went to church, while the Indy Macs enjoyed an evening in Hollywood and at Griffith Park.

Saturday afternoon it was time to say goodbye.  As you can see, we took lots of pictures and a good time was had by all!