2 Samuel 13

My Bible reading today included 2 Samuel chapter 13.  This is one of the toughest chapters to read.  Amnon who "loved" his half-sister, Tamar.  The council of his cousin, Jonadab.  Absalom's revenge.  I studied Tamar in 2015.  It's a lengthy post that you can read here.  It still hurts to read the account.

The chapter takes another dark turn as Absalom waits for David to deal with Amnon.  Absalom waited two years for his father to do something.  I've also written about that and you can read about it here.

What hit me today was the actions of Jonadab and how it is happening again today.  He was the son of Shimeah, David's brother.  He was the grandson of Jesse.  He wasn't an outsider to the children of Israel.  He was the one that put the plan in place for Amnon, telling him to pretend to be sick, then have David send Tamar to him. Jonadab was an influencer.  His words never hurt him but they started a chain of events that led to rape and murder.

We are seeing the influence of the media, politicians, and school teachers become stronger and stronger.  Children and young people are being encouraged to choose their gender, take hormones or hormone blockers or have abortions, all without parental knowledge or consent.  Many of these people act like Jonadab, as "a friend."   We're looking at the first couple of verses of this story, but I believe it's going to bring devastating results just like it did in the lives of Tamar, Amnon and Absalom.

This paragraph is in my post about Tamar:

A simple Google search on "rape" brought up over 266 million results and  "rape statistics" brought up over 66 million results.  One quote really caught my attention, "one pedophile interviewed by Oprah Winfrey confessed, a pedophile steals more than a child's innocence. He steals her future. He described his crime as a form of murder because, as he said, 'I killed who she could have been one day.'" This certainly describes what happened to Tamar. 

 

Those who are influencing children and young people today are also stealing and killing their futures.  We are living in perilous times and we need to fight to protect our families.

Bitterness - The Link from Love to Hate

I started reading the book of 2 Samuel this week.  As I continue reading about David's life I am reminded of the wives of David that I studied.  His first wife was Michal, the daughter of King Saul.  My feelings about her really changed after studying her a little more deeply.  You can read the entire post here, but I thought I'd share what I think turned her from loving David to despising him.

1 Samuel 18:20 says that Michal loved David, the only place in the Bible where a woman's love for a man is recorded, according to footnotes in The Jewish Study Bible.  This is repeated in verse 28 of the same chapter.  However, there is no biblical record of David having loved Michal.   When Saul learned that Michal loved David he hoped that she would be a snare to David.

I posted a timeline of the life of David here.  It was very helpful as I studied.

In 1008 B.C. David married Michal.  After approximately one year of marriage, David fled because Saul wanted to kill him.  Michal was left behind.  In 1005 B.C. Michal was given to Paltiel in Gallim.  During David's time on the run, he married Abigail and Ahinoam.

Five years later, in 1000 B.C., Saul and Jonathan are killed in battle and David is anointed king.  David marries four additional wives and has at least six sons by his six wives.

998 BC - Michal returned to David
They were only together one year, now some nine years and six wives later David wants Michal back.  I can't even imagine how she must have felt.  Her father and brothers were all dead.  The young man she loved and married has spent years as a warrior on the run and is now the king with six wives and at least six sons.  I'm sure that's not quite the marriage she had dreamed of.  Some commentaries said he wanted her back because he loved her, but others said it was purely political.

Sadly, Michal seemed to be married to a man who wanted just her.  When Ishbosheth took her from her husband, he "went with her along weeping behind her." (2 Samuel 3:16)  "Because of his great affection to her, unwilling to part with her, but forced to it at the command of the king." (John Gill)  That is such a sad picture to me!  And I wonder if it was then that the root of bitterness that had been growing reached full growth.  Maybe Michal was proud to be called back to the palace, but it wasn't going to be easy.

 

992 BC - The ark is returned. 
Six years after Michal is returned to David a great celebration takes place. The ark of God is brought back with sacrifices and great rejoicing.  On this great day, the verse that tells how much Michal has changed appears, "And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart."  

Michal had gone from loving David to despising him.  This same phrase "she despised him in her heart" is also found in 1Chronicles 15:29.  As soon as David returned home, Michal went out to meet him.  She was so harsh mocking his worship.  "And said, how glorious was the king of Israel today; which she spoke in an ironical jeering way, meaning the reverse, how inglorious, mean, and despicable he had made himself to be, by his airs and gestures." (John Gill)  "Proud of her royal extraction, she upbraided her husband for lowering the dignity of the crown and acting more like a buffoon than a king." (A Commentary on the Old and New Testaments by Robert Jamieson, A. R. Fausset and David Brown)

Following David and Michal's exchange is a very sad verse, "Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death." (2 Samuel 6:23)

 

While I cannot agree with how Michal mocked David, a part of me understands why.  David was in his 20s when they were married.  It is possible that Michal was still a teenager.  A teenager greatly influenced by a father who was filled with hatred.  

We all have the opportunity to choose bitterness when life is difficult.  When I was a child and would tell my mom, "it's not fair!" she always responded with "life isn't fair."  She was right.  Life isn't fair.  We don't always get our way.  Hard times come, but it's how we handle the unfairness of life that determines if we will be bitter or victorious.

Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  At the heart of it all, Michal's problem wasn't that she loved or despised David, but I don't think she ever loved God.  If we keep a love for God in our hearts, then no matter the turns life takes, we can know that it will all work together for our good.

From Love to Bitterness

My Bible reading this morning included 2 Samuel chapter 3.  There were three verses that especially caught my attention, verses 14-16: "And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.  And Ishbosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.   And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim. Then said Abner unto him, Go, return. And he returned."

These verses were part of the study that I did on Michal, the daughter of Saul and first wife of David.  I studied her in July 2015.  It was actually this part of her story that caused me to pause.  You can read my entire post here.

Many times all we hear about is when Michal mocked David for dancing when the ark of God was returned.  That is the end of the story.  Those are the words and actions of a bitter woman.  But bitterness wasn't what originally defined Michal.  1 Samuel 18:20 says that Michal loved David, the only place in the Bible where a woman's love for a man is recorded, according to footnotes in The Jewish Study Bible.  However, there is no biblical record of David having loved Michal.

Here is a brief timeline of Michal and David's marriage:

1008 BC - they were married

1007 BC - Michal helped David escape from Saul

1005 BC - Michal is given to Paltiel in Gallim

1000 BC - Saul and Jonathon are killed in battle, David becomes king

998 BC - Michal returned to David

992 BC - The ark is returned

I wrote in my 2015 post:

They were only together one year, now some nine years and six wives later David wants Michal back.  I can't even imagine how she must have felt.  Her father and brothers were all dead.  The young man she loved and married has spent years as a warrior on the run and is now the king with six wives and at least six sons.  I'm sure that's not quite the marriage she had dreamed of.  Some commentaries said he wanted her back because he loved her, but others said it was purely political.

Sadly, Michal seemed to be married to a man who wanted just her. When Ishbosheth took her from her husband, he "went with her along weeping behind her." (2 Samuel 3:16) "Because of his great affection to her, unwilling to part with her, but forced to it at the command of the king." (John Gill) That is such a sad picture to me! And I wonder if it was then that the root of bitterness that had been growing reached full growth. Maybe Michal was proud to be called back to the palace, but it wasn't going to be easy.

I am in no way excusing Michal's bitterness or the actions that followed.  But her story causes me to pause, to ponder.  There are people in my life who have let bitterness separate them from God.  They didn't start out that way, but through the hard times and hurts of life they allowed bitterness to grow. 

Last month I had a minor bike accident.  I landed pretty hard on my right arm and by the time I got home it was swollen.  I ended up with a huge, deep bruise from my elbow all the way to my wrist.  It hurt for weeks.  I had abrasions on my elbow.  I cleaned the wound and treated it with care. Cleaning that wound hurt!  I kept it wrapped because I didn't want to get an infection.   It has taken weeks for it to fully heal, but it has.  Now there is just a tiny area that is slightly red, all other signs of injury are gone.

We need to treat the injuries of life with care.  Take care of the wounds.  Cleaning a wound hurts!  We can't let the infection of bitterness get in.  Forgive.  And forgive again.  Even when no apology comes, forgive.  It is the only way to keep bitterness out.

Clean the wound and recover or let the wound fester.  The choice is ours.

Two Years

I am reading in 2 Samuel this week.  Oh the life of David!  So many ups and downs.  2 Samuel chapter 13 talks about one of the downs ~ Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom.  The deceit, the sexual assault, the love that turned to deep hatred.  Then we come to Absalom...

"And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.   And it came to pass after two full years..." (verses 22 and 23)

For two years Absalom didn't speak to his brother.  Two years he plotted and planned. Two years he remembered his sister's shame.  Two years he may have wondered when their father would do something to punish Amnon (and that a whole 'nother post of its own.)  But for two years, he never spoke, while his hatred burned hotter.

Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible had this to say about the story:

Absalom's hatred of his brother's crime would have been commendable, and he might justly have prosecuted him for it by a due course of law, for example to others, and the making of some compensation to his injured sister; but to hate his person, and design his death by assassination, was to put a great affront upon God.

If Absalom had reasoned the matter with Amnon, he might have convinced him of his sin and brought him to repentance; but, saying nothing, Amnon's heart was hardened, and his own more and more embittered against him.

It may be, at first, he did not intend to kill his brother (for, if he had, he might have had as fair an opportunity to do it as he had at last), and only waited for an occasion to disgrace him or do him some other mischief; but in time his hatred ripened to this, that he would be no less than the death of him. If the sun going down once upon the wrath gives such place to the devil (as is intimated, Ephesians 4:26-27), what would the sunsets of two full years do?

We will all face times when anger is our natural response, but we cannot risk holding on to that anger.  Jesus tells us what to do in Matthew chapter 5, "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift."   Forgiveness and reconciliation are not easy - they hurt and can be very difficult.  But it is worth it.  And if you are the one who has done the offending, please humble yourself, don't lose two years, don't even lose two days with those whom you have wronged.

The story of Absalom doesn't end here, in the following chapter David allows Absalom to return to Jerusalem, but "Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face."  Another two years of bitterness and unforgiveness.

What has happened to you and me in the past two years?  Are we still carrying hurts and bitterness?  What will we do with the next two years?  We can't erase the past, but we can forgive, go forward and "as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."

Resentment

The world is mourning the loss of Nelson Mandela today.  The former South African prisoner, then president, died yesterday at age 95.  USA Today had 15 of his best quotes, I really like this one:

"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."

I don't pretend to understand world politics, and I'm sure he made his share of mistakes, but one thing Nelson Mandela was known for was how he acted when finally freed from prison.  After 27 years, he did not come out looking for revenge, but peace and reconciliation.

We have all had situations that could cause resentment.  We've been talked about, mistreated, and hurt.  Often the offender is gone from our lives, but the pain lives on.  Holding on to resentment towards someone who has moved on only hurts us.  I posted "Don't Decorate Your Cell" more than three years ago, but I was reminded of it this morning.  We can't wrap ourselves in our hurts, living there everyday, and hope to have peace.

The holidays are often very painful times for people.  The "most wonderful time of the year" brings families together and hurts are revisited.  Know this - some people will never change, even family members.  They will continue in their behaviors, leaving a path of destruction in their wake and walking away unscathed.

Jesus said in John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."  Don't drink the poison of resentment, give your hurts to Him and live abundantly.

When Bitterness and Ambition Intersect

We started revival with Bro. Greg Ballew this week and it has been so good. Tuesday night he preached from 2 Samuel chapter 16 about David, Absalom, and Ahithophel. It wasn't the point of his message, but he made a statement that I have been chewing on since. He said it is a dangerous thing when bitterness and ambition intersect.

Bitterness destroys the one who is bitter. Ahithophel was known to give counsel to both David and Absalom. 2 Samuel 16:23 says, "And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counselled in those days, was as if a man had enquired at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom." But Ahithopel was also the grandfather of Bathsheba, the one with whom David had an affair. Bitterness towards David was in the heart of Ahithophel and he used it when speaking to Absalom.

Selfish ambition causes one to stop at nothing to get to the top. Absalom was the ambitious one. He wanted to be king of Israel. 2 Samuel 15 tells of Absalom stealing the hearts of the people of Israel. He worked towards the goal of becoming king for forty years.

The end of the story for the ambition of Absalom and the bitterness of Ahithophel was tragedy. Absalom was killed in battle and Ahithophel hung himself.

How different the story would have been if Absalom and Ahithophel could have read Paul's words to the Ephesians: "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."