Les and I have been giving a Bible study to a young couple in our church. A few weeks ago we took a break from the Exploring God's Word study to talk about finances. Their first child is on the way, so they asked us to help them with budgeting, offerings, etc.
One of the things we shared with them is how we handled "fun" expenses when Les and I were first married. You know, the fun stuff that you want, not needs like groceries, gas and utilities. We were both working full time to make ends meet, plus trying to save for a new car. That new car that we still drive 19 years later!
At that time Les was into skiing instead of cycling. I wasn't into either. Very early in our marriage we decided that when one of us spent money on something fun, that was just for them, the other could do the same. In other words, if Les took a ski trip, I got to spend what his lift ticket, gas, lodging, food, etc. cost on something I wanted. Of course this didn't apply to things we did together - trips, eating out, etc.
This worked great for many reasons. One, the person wanting to spend couldn't just think of themselves. "These shoes are on sale for $25!" No, those shoes will cost $50 if you decide to buy 'em. Lift ticket $60? Nope, $120. It also kept the person who hadn't spent from being resentful. "Oh, you spent $100 on a new suit jacket? Great! I can buy that new dress and purse I've been eyeing!"
It's always been "our" money - not his and mine. He's always made more than me. The current income from my four piano students certainly doesn't cover my shoe habit! But I've never felt the need to hide any expenses from Les either. We were also able to weather the storm of two months of unemployment last year because we have stayed on the same page when it comes to spending. At that point all fun spending was on hold.
It's worked for us. How do you handle "fun" purchases?
7 comments:
Wow - that is an incredibly insightful and forward looking approach to new couples learning how to spend money together.
Right now we don't have any fun money - we have 3 kids and another on the way. I try to find the fun in non-financially burdening ways, but I have to admit sometimes I do have to keep myself in check from being resentful about that.
But, the kids will grow up. Blogging is free, at least. lol!
So you're saying diapers, bottles, backpacks and school supplies aren't fun??
I totally get that adding kids to the equation changes everything. I didn't write about it since we don't have any. As the youngest of four (all born within 5 years) I often wonder how my parents managed to keep us all fed and clothed.
Yes, they will grow up! My 24 year old nephew is getting married next month - how did that happen?
I LOVE the post, Sis. M! Maybe I'll even remember it if/when I need to worry about his and hers kinda stuff. lol
Thanks, Michelle! There may or may not have been an argument or two before we settled on this...
I'm sure! But now that you've done the ground work it will MOST definitely be smooth sailing for me, right?! JK
In that area, at least! Just buy lots of shoes in advance... ;)
The way I get "fun money" is by teaching a few English classes. It has been more classes when our family budget was small and less when our budget had more. But the deal has always been that I could teach these classes, but I could not spend the money on household expenses. Of course, my addiction to candles has always come out of my fun money. As for Chris, he is so frugal that I would not want equal amounts of fun money or I would never have any! His money does come from the family budget.
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