Courage

Wealth lost-something lost;
Honor lost-much lost;
Courage lost-all lost.
- Old German proverb

As I've been going through our family pictures, there have been so many emotions involved! Many pictures bring a smile or a laugh. Some bring old memories, while others are before my time. Here is a set from October 1964:

Kim, age 5 1/2


Rod, age 19 months


This picture of Rod tugs my heartstrings! I can hardly look at it without wanting to cry myself...

This is not the Rod I remember. He lived a life of pain, but he was courageous! Sitting there on that horse, with big old tears in his eyes just gets me every time.

There were few things that held Rod back. He was all boy. He loved basketball, volleyball, racquetball, and softball! He was the boy who learned to ride a skateboard, sitting down, with a friend pulling him from their bicycle! He seemed fearless! Definitely more imp than angel, so a picture of him with tears is very rare.

Here's his kindergarten picture (front row, second from the left) - a black eye and a smile!


Here he is in the hospital, with a broken leg and a smile!


In this picture he's sitting in a wheelchair, in a full body cast, but again smiling!

Rod was so determined to LIVE. Pain would slow him down, but never stop him completely.

There are two people who can be credited with some of that courage - Dad and Mom. They courageously allowed Rod to be Rod. I know there were tough times, but they helped him grow up with an incredible amount of self confidence.

When it was time for bicycles, Kim, Rick, and I all got our own. There was no way Rod could have ridden on his own. Instead of saying, "Sorry, you just won't be able to ride," Dad found a used tandem and he would ride on the front with Rod on the back. Those Saturday afternoon rides, with all of us following Dad and Rod, Rod being his usual witty self, were some great times!

It takes courage to face what life hands us, but for today:

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Frank Scully

Happy Birthday to My Hero!

My dear brother, Rod, would have turned 62 today.  I've written about him so many times.  He is still greatly missed!  This is my original post from September 22, 2008. 

Rodney coaxes her, she is practically his shadow. These two are really close, in every way."
- From My Baby book

The last few days I've been thinking of how we react to unexpected tragedies or difficulties. Whether it be the Metrolink crash or Hurricane Ike, the same response occurs. After the initial shock, the media starts reporting on how it could have been avoided or who was at fault. We humans have a hard time accepting that bad things happen, even to good people.

Going on a school field trip in a wheelchair

As I was thinking through a post on this subject, I kept thinking of Rod.

Valley Children's Hospital in Fresno some times felt like our second home.

 

 

 Rodney Dean Fultz was born on March 5, 1963, just 13 months before I came along. Within the first year of his life, it was discovered that Rod was a hemophiliac or a "bleeder" as he was commonly called. In spite of many, many difficulties and hospitalizations, Rod was an overcomer. I think God gave him an extra dose of grit in place of the clotting factor found in most humans!

What a brother he was! He had an incredible wit. You never got the last word with Rod. He had a comeback for anything you threw his way. I know, because this was the source of many fights between the two of us! As we got older, he knew when he was about to push me over the edge and would say something that would just crack me up.

Kindergarten class picture with a black eye!

 

Hearing him sing was a powerful experience. The second verse of "I'm Just Warming Up" with the words "all my pain and sorrow, up there I will forget", could not have been sung with more power or passion by anyone else.

If anyone had the "right" to question his circumstances or try to find someone to blame, it was Rod. But I can still hear him, not many months before his death, as we spoke about all he had been through in his life. He said, "Kathy, whenever I'm tempted to question or feel sorry for myself, I just read the book of Job. I can't complain."

One of many Easter dramas he performed in.

 

One definition of shadow is an inseparable companion or follower. Rod's example of facing life's difficulties is one I want to follow. I knew even as a baby, he was someone I wanted to "shadow".

To my friends who knew Rod, I hope you enjoy this photo walk down memory lane as much as I did! And whenever I hear "Jingle Bell Rock" I remember the Christmas when Rod and I entertained the family, he with his "crutch guitar" and me with some fancy moves!!

So much love and laughter in this shot!

God gave him music so he could pray without words.

My Hero

"Rodney coaxes her, she is practically his shadow. These two are really close, in every way."
- From My Baby book

The last few days I've been thinking of how we react to unexpected tragedies or difficulties. Whether it be the Metrolink crash or Hurricane Ike, the same response occurs. After the initial shock, the media starts reporting on how it could have been avoided or who was at fault. We humans have a hard time accepting that bad things happen, even to good people.

As I was thinking through a post on this subject, I kept thinking of Rod.

Rodney Dean Fultz was born on March 5, 1963, just 13 months before I came along. Within the first year of his life, it was discovered that Rod was a hemophiliac or a "bleeder" as he was commonly called. In spite of many, many difficulties and hospitalizations, Rod was an overcomer. I think God gave him an extra dose of grit in place of the clotting factor found in most humans!

What a brother he was! He had an incredible wit. You never got the last word with Rod. He had a comeback for anything you threw his way. I know, because this was the source of many fights between the two of us! As we got older, he knew when he was about to push me over the edge and would say something that would just crack me up.

Hearing him sing was a powerful experience. The second verse of "I'm Just Warming Up" with the words "all my pain and sorrow, up there I will forget", could not have been sung with more power or passion by anyone else.

If anyone had the "right" to question his circumstances or try to find someone to blame, it was Rod. But I can still hear him, not many months before his death, as we spoke about all he had been through in his life. He said, "Kathy, whenever I'm tempted to question or feel sorry for myself, I just read the book of Job. I can't complain."

One definition of shadow is an inseparable companion or follower. Rod's example of facing life's difficulties is one I want to follow. I knew even as a baby, he was someone I wanted "shadow".


To my friends that knew Rod, I hope you enjoy this photo walk down memory lane as much as I did! And whenever I hear "Jingle Bell Rock" I remember the Christmas when Rod and I entertained the family, he with his "crutch guitar" and me with some fancy moves!!

Repost: My Hero

I have been meaning to update this post for some time.  I originally posted it on September 22, 2008.  I used a slide show editor for my pictures that no longer works and I wanted to put these shots in the post.

Rodney coaxes her, she is practically his shadow. These two are really close, in every way."
- From My Baby book

The last few days I've been thinking of how we react to unexpected tragedies or difficulties. Whether it be the Metrolink crash or Hurricane Ike, the same response occurs. After the initial shock, the media starts reporting on how it could have been avoided or who was at fault. We humans have a hard time accepting that bad things happen, even to good people.

Going on a school field trip in a wheelchair

As I was thinking through a post on this subject, I kept thinking of Rod.

Valley Children's Hospital in Fresno some times felt like our second home.

Rodney Dean Fultz was born on March 5, 1963, just 13 months before I came along. Within the first year of his life, it was discovered that Rod was a hemophiliac or a "bleeder" as he was commonly called. In spite of many, many difficulties and hospitalizations, Rod was an overcomer. I think God gave him an extra dose of grit in place of the clotting factor found in most humans!

What a brother he was! He had an incredible wit. You never got the last word with Rod. He had a comeback for anything you threw his way. I know, because this was the source of many fights between the two of us! As we got older, he knew when he was about to push me over the edge and would say something that would just crack me up.

Kindergarten class picture with a black eye!

Hearing him sing was a powerful experience. The second verse of "I'm Just Warming Up" with the words "all my pain and sorrow, up there I will forget", could not have been sung with more power or passion by anyone else.

If anyone had the "right" to question his circumstances or try to find someone to blame, it was Rod. But I can still hear him, not many months before his death, as we spoke about all he had been through in his life. He said, "Kathy, whenever I'm tempted to question or feel sorry for myself, I just read the book of Job. I can't complain."

One of many Easter dramas he performed in.

One definition of shadow is an inseparable companion or follower. Rod's example of facing life's difficulties is one I want to follow. I knew even as a baby, he was someone I wanted to "shadow".

To my friends who knew Rod, I hope you enjoy this photo walk down memory lane as much as I did! And whenever I hear "Jingle Bell Rock" I remember the Christmas when Rod and I entertained the family, he with his "crutch guitar" and me with some fancy moves!!

So much love and laughter in this shot!

God gave him music so he could pray without words.

Fear Not, Zacharias

I have had a really tough time getting this post written.  My thoughts have been all over the place!  I've finally figured out what I want to say and hopefully it will give you something to think about.

Over the course of the past two weeks I have read the phrase "fear not" eight different times in my daily Bible reading - seven times in the first 12 chapters of Luke "fear not" is found.  Zacharias is the first that I read and I thought he was a good one to study as I am reading the Prayer Life.

Luke 1:13 says, "But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John." There is so much to study about Zacharias, but I just want to focus on "thy prayer is heard."

What was that prayer?
Many commentaries agree that is was more than one prayer that had been heard.  First, the prayer for a son, since he and Elizabeth were childless.  The second prayer was for the deliverance of Israel by the coming of the Messiah.

John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible says, "which he had many years ago put up for a son; for it cannot be thought that he had been now praying for one, being in such an advanced age, and having for years past given up all hopes of one, and was even unbelieving, when he was told by the angel he should have one: prayer is sometimes immediately heard, and answered; and sometimes an answer is deferred a long time, to try the faith and patience of the saints, and to discover the more the wisdom, power, and goodness of God: or this may have regard to his present prayer, one branch of which might concern the coming of the Messiah, which was now expecting, and therefore is told, that his prayer was heard; since the angel that appeared to him, brought him the news of the conception and birth of his forerunner."

Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible says, "They are all heard - thou shalt have a son, and Israel shall be saved. If fervent faithful prayers be not immediately answered, they should not be considered as lost; all such are heard by the Lord, are registered in heaven, and shall be answered in the most effectual way, and in the best time. Answers to prayer are to be received by faith; but faith should not only accompany prayer while offered on earth, but follow it all its way to the throne of grace, and stay with it before the throne till dismissed with its answer to the waiting soul."

The Answer to Zacharias' Prayer
This is the part that I've been dwelling on for the past several days.  Zacharias had prayed for a son.  I don't believe he prayed for a son who would be the forerunner of the Messiah.  His prayer was simple, but God's answer was great.

When John was taken as a baby to be circumcised and given the name of John, Zacharias was able to speak once again.  Luke chapter 1 tells us he was filled with the Holy Ghost and prophesied.  Luke 1:68-79 gives that prophecy.  Zacharias was given a glimpse of what God had in store for his child's life.

This son, known as John the Baptist, was more than Zacharias and Elizabeth could have imagined.  John had a mighty ministry.  Matthew 3:5-6 says, "Then went out to him Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan, And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins."  But he knew who he was, Matthew 3:11 says, "I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance. but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire."   John 3:29-30 says, "He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease." 

He was the voice of one crying in the wilderness.  John 1:6-8 says, "There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.  The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.  He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light."  Verse 6 of that same chapter says, "And looking upon Jesus as he walked, he saith, Behold the Lamb of God!"

God Answers Prayer
My thoughts finally came together about this topic as I was re-reading a post about Rod this morning.  During the final months of his life, Les and I prayed earnestly for Rod.  We prayed that God would heal Rod from the disease that was destroying his body.  About six weeks before Rod died, Les and I went on an extended fast.  We believed that God was going to heal.  If an angel had appeared to me and said, "Fear not, your prayers have been heard," I would have believe it 100% and I would have expected a physical healing to take place.

After Rod died I could have questioned if God had heard my prayer.  But God gave me peace and assurance that He had heard it, but chose to answer in a different way.  My finite thinking could only see Rod's mortal body.  God could see Rod's soul.  The time spent in prayer and fasting wasn't wasted.  God heard and saw it all.  But God chose to deliver Rod from the chains of this life.  Rod was healed but he was also saved from any more sorrow on this earth.  My prayers were heard indeed.

Fear Not to Pray!
My conclusion regarding Zacharias, and in my own life, is we must pray without fear.  Ask, believing.  Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-8, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."

Fear not, my friend, your prayer is heard.

Memories

March 5th has double significance in our family.  For 31 years it was Rod's birthday.  After his death it continued being his birthday, but we celebrated a little differently.  Two years ago, the day changed our family.  Dad passed away on Rod's 50th birthday.  That's a lot of emotion for one day.  I've written so much about these two - certainly two of the greatest male influences of my life.

The original Fultz Family

This picture has such a story.  When Rod was in 5th grade he broke his femur.  Because of his hemophilia, he spent about 6-8 weeks in the hospital, in traction.  He spent another 6-8 weeks at home in a body cast.  The entire time that Rod was in the hospital, our family visited him in the evenings when Dad got off work.  It didn't matter how tired Dad was, he would come home, shower, eat dinner, and off we'd go.  With all the pain that Rod lived through, he was never a complainer.  And Dad never complained about going to the hospital after a long day of work.

Another story - Mom, Dad and I had driven to the Monterey for a day.  This picture is on 17-Mile Drive.  This is where Dad gave me some of my favorite advice.  "Kathy, when you're deer hunting, sometimes you just need to sit on a rock and wait for the deer to come." Of course I was hunting "dear" of a different kind!  The funny thing about this story is Dad never shot a deer in his life.  He went "hunting" with my uncle Ron, but never got anything.  We liked to tease him that he was camping with a gun.  But the words of wisdom were right on!

Life just couldn't get much better than this!  I am so happy that Les and Rod became such good friends.  They instantly "got" each other.  The two of them together we so much fun.  So many laughs!

Can you say "Daddy's Girl?"

Elder Morton, Rod (giving me a hug), Les... only Dad was missing from this shot!

I think this is one of the last pictures I have of me with Dad.  This was at Kim and Rodney's wedding, March 7, 2009.

More Lessons from the Peloton

The fun in France continues, so here are a few more thoughts...


An Isolated Rider Cannot Compete

Last week I wrote about the strength of the peloton, how riding in the pack brings amazing strength and speed. Just the opposite is also true. Isolation usually occurs in the mountain stages. The teams for general classification (the yellow jersey) really have to work to get their guy to the top. Yes, the leader is pedaling, but he needs the strength of his teammates. Other teams will "attack" hoping to drop their competition. Isolation occurs when the teammates of a GC contender can't keep up with the peloton and their leader is left on his own. The rider will do his best to hang on to the pack, but the opposing teams will be doing their best to drop him.


I admit, I've been on both sides of cliques. I think teenage girls can be some of the cruelest people on the planet - attacking with words and looks and turned backs. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of that habit and go through life cutting others with their words and actions. I've seen people (young and old) trying to fit in and hang on, but often the pressure is more than they can handle going it alone.

A True Teammate Waits

During one stage Andy Schleck had a flat tire with 4 km left in the stage. There is a rule in the Tour de France that if a rider crashes or has a mechanical problem in the final 3 km of a stage, they will receive the same time as the riders they are currently riding with. But Andy was 4 km out and had to get his bike fixed and back to the peloton, who of course was not waiting. When Andy's teammate, Jens Voigt, found out what happened, he slowed his pace and returned to where Andy was. By the time Jens met up with Andy, Andy's bike was fixed and Jens "towed" Andy back to the peloton.


There are times when life trips up our brother or sister. It seems they're doing everything they can to win when Bam! out of nowhere a trial comes their way. This is not the time to ride away, this is the time for us to go back and add our strength to theirs.

New Champions Arise

Many were curious to see what Lance Armstrong would do during this Tour after being retired for 3 years. He is currently in fourth place overall, with his teammate Alberto Contador in first. There have been several stages that Alberto showed his superior strength and left everyone in the dust. On Sunday, Alberto took the yellow jersey and it appears he will win his second Tour. Lance had this to say, “Now you know who’s the best rider in the world and the best rider in the race. In the past I was the best, now he’s the best. As far as I’m concerned, I’m happy to be his domestique. I’m proud of him.”


There is always room in the kingdom of God for more workers. How do you respond when someone else gets that choir solo you wanted? Can you still sing in the soprano section and worship your heart out or are you silently pouting with your arms crossed. Can you step out of the spotlight with grace to make room for someone else?

The Penultimate Stage

This Saturday is the next to last stage of the race. The route of the Tour changes each year, and this year the penultimate stage takes place on the famed Mont Ventoux. This is one of the most grueling climbs in Tour history. It is also a place of tragedy - Tour rider, Tom Simpson, died on this climb in 1967. Usually the final stage is more celebration than racing, so the penultimate stage is the last chance for riders to make Tour history.


We don't know when it will happen, but each of us will have a penultimate stage in our lives. That final climb. I was recalling Rod's final months. It was April, 1994, when Les and I visited Fresno. Rod was getting sicker and weaker. Les and I came home from that visit with an increased burden for Rod. We prayed daily, went on an extended fast, believing God for Rod's healing. Rod got his eternal healing on June 22, 1994 and I learned a lot about the penultimate stage in a person's life. We didn't know it at the time, but the burden God gave us was for Rod's faith, that it would fail not. It was Rod's final climb, one that he had to ride to the end. Our role was that of a teammate, riding beside him, encouraging him and praying for him.

The Grand Celebration

This Sunday, July 26th, the riders who completed the 2009 Tour de France will ride in Paris on the cobbled streets of the Champs Elysées. The Eifel Tower and the Arch de Triumph will be in sight. The leader of the race with his entire team will lead the first lap past the cheering crowd.


Last Sunday we sang an old song from the hymnal - "When the Redeemed Are Gathering In" with a verse that included the words, "there will be a great procession over on the streets of gold." What a grand day that will be! Among that crowd for you I'll be watching, so look for me in front of the throne!

The Winner

We have one big difference with the Tour. There is only one Tour de France winner. Only one man will wear the treasured yellow jersey on that final day. The history books will only list that one name.



But Paul tells us, "Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:8)

Ride on!

Repost: More Lessons from the Peloton

Part 2:  This is a post I wrote in 2009.  It came to mind this week as the Giro d'Italia (another three week cycling race) wrapped up.  There has been some controversy in pro cycling since I wrote this post (the disgrace of Lance Armstrong and others for doping) but there are still lessons that can be learned. 
 
The fun in France continues, so here are a few more thoughts...


An Isolated Rider Cannot Compete

Last week I wrote about the strength of the peloton, how riding in the pack brings amazing strength and speed. Just the opposite is also true. Isolation usually occurs in the mountain stages. The teams for general classification (the yellow jersey) really have to work to get their guy to the top. Yes, the leader is pedaling, but he needs the strength of his teammates. Other teams will "attack" hoping to drop their competition. Isolation occurs when the teammates of a GC contender can't keep up with the peloton and their leader is left on his own. The rider will do his best to hang on to the pack, but the opposing teams will be doing their best to drop him.


I admit, I've been on both sides of cliques. I think teenage girls can be some of the cruelest people on the planet - attacking with words and looks and turned backs. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of that habit and go through life cutting others with their words and actions. I've seen people (young and old) trying to fit in and hang on, but often the pressure is more than they can handle going it alone.

A True Teammate Waits

During one stage Andy Schleck had a flat tire with 4 km left in the stage. There is a rule in the Tour de France that if a rider crashes or has a mechanical problem in the final 3 km of a stage, they will receive the same time as the riders they are currently riding with. But Andy was 4 km out and had to get his bike fixed and back to the peloton, who of course was not waiting. When Andy's teammate, Jens Voigt, found out what happened, he slowed his pace and returned to where Andy was. By the time Jens met up with Andy, Andy's bike was fixed and Jens "towed" Andy back to the peloton.


There are times when life trips up our brother or sister. It seems they're doing everything they can to win when Bam! out of nowhere a trial comes their way. This is not the time to ride away, this is the time for us to go back and add our strength to theirs.

New Champions Arise

Many were curious to see what Lance Armstrong would do during this Tour after being retired for 3 years. He is currently in fourth place overall, with his teammate Alberto Contador in first. There have been several stages that Alberto showed his superior strength and left everyone in the dust. On Sunday, Alberto took the yellow jersey and it appears he will win his second Tour. Lance had this to say, “Now you know who’s the best rider in the world and the best rider in the race. In the past I was the best, now he’s the best. As far as I’m concerned, I’m happy to be his domestique. I’m proud of him.”


There is always room in the kingdom of God for more workers. How do you respond when someone else gets that choir solo you wanted? Can you still sing in the soprano section and worship your heart out or are you silently pouting with your arms crossed. Can you step out of the spotlight with grace to make room for someone else?

The Penultimate Stage

This Saturday is the next to last stage of the race. The route of the Tour changes each year, and this year the penultimate stage takes place on the famed Mont Ventoux. This is one of the most grueling climbs in Tour history. It is also a place of tragedy - Tour rider, Tom Simpson, died on this climb in 1967. Usually the final stage is more celebration than racing, so the penultimate stage is the last chance for riders to make Tour history.


We don't know when it will happen, but each of us will have a penultimate stage in our lives. That final climb. I was recalling Rod's final months. It was April, 1994, when Les and I visited Fresno. Rod was getting sicker and weaker. Les and I came home from that visit with an increased burden for Rod. We prayed daily, went on an extended fast, believing God for Rod's healing. Rod got his eternal healing on June 22, 1994 and I learned a lot about the penultimate stage in a person's life. We didn't know it at the time, but the burden God gave us was for Rod's faith, that it would fail not. It was Rod's final climb, one that he had to ride to the end. Our role was that of a teammate, riding beside him, encouraging him and praying for him.

The Grand Celebration

This Sunday, July 26th, the riders who completed the 2009 Tour de France will ride in Paris on the cobbled streets of the Champs Elysées. The Eifel Tower and the Arch de Triumph will be in sight. The leader of the race with his entire team will lead the first lap past the cheering crowd.


Last Sunday we sang an old song from the hymnal - "When the Redeemed Are Gathering In" with a verse that included the words, "there will be a great procession over on the streets of gold." What a grand day that will be! Among that crowd for you I'll be watching, so look for me in front of the throne!

The Winner

We have one big difference with the Tour. There is only one Tour de France winner. Only one man will wear the treasured yellow jersey on that final day. The history books will only list that one name.



But Paul tells us, "Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:8)

Ride on!