Repost: Shame, Shame, Shame

I stumbled on this old post this morning and wanted to repost it.  I've talked to several young mothers recently, moms living in that stage of constant chaos, just trying to keep their little ones fed and clothed.  Don't worry about that perfect life.  Live with love and the rest will take care of itself.

Through the years I have purchased the Sisterchicks series by Robin Jones Gunn. "Sisterchicks on the Loose," "Sisterchicks in Sombreros," "Sisterchicks do the Hula" and many others. They are fun reading, but usually have a little more to them than you would expect at first glance. The definition of a Sisterchick is : n.: a friend who shares the deepest wonders of your heart, loves you like a sister, and provides a reality check when you’re being a brat.


With our upcoming trip, I decided to reread "Sisterchicks in Gondolas." This book is about two sisters-in-law on a trip to Venice. I won't spoil it for you if you want to read it, but here's what the back cover says:

Jenna and Sue have been sisters-in-law for nearly thirty years but inseparable friends for only the last five. When Jenna is invited to a week’s stay at a fifteenth century restored palace on a quiet canal in Venice, Sue is her travel companion of choice. The catch? They must cook for a group that is staying at the palace for a retreat. It’s the first time Sue has been this far from home, and both women are coming out of a valley season of life where they operated each day in long shadows of fear. Entering into the lilting gondola-paced Italian lifestyle and discovering corners of Venice most tourists never see, they welcome a new time of refreshing. And over boiling pots of pasta, they dare each other to dream again.

During one heartfelt conversation, Sue apologizes to Jenna and Jenna utters three simple but profound words, "Shame OFF you."

I think women, especially moms, need that message. We can be so hard on ourselves. If our house isn't spotless, with magazine perfect meals on the table, not a single speck of dust in sight, we start feeling like failures. I've read blogs by young mothers who confess to all the things they aren't perfect at. I want to say, "Shame off you."

I'm not talking about being lazy and sitting around eating chocolate covered cherries all day while your children run around like hooligans and your husband searches for clean socks. I'm talking about the times when LIFE happens. A sick child takes precedence over a clean kitchen - I can't tell you how many times Mom stopped whatever she was doing to take care of Rod. A single phone call can change the course of your week. When you rush out the door to the hospital or funeral home, no one is looking under the bed for dust bunnies.

So the next time you're beating yourself up because of your shortcomings, take a lesson from Sue and Jenna. Later in the book, the phrase is repeated with another, "Shame off you and Grace on you." Extend the same grace to yourself that you willingly extend to others.